Pointing fingers and apportioning blame is a very simplistic way of understanding and dealing with such a complex problem.
Hard questions need to be asked to both men and women if we are to get ourselves out of this muddle.
For starters, why is it these things are only happening to men who are relatively older than the women involved? Obado and Sharon is the typical mode. Are men taking advantage of their perceived mental edge over these young women? Why is it that we never hear of these things happening to couples of similar ages? Why?
Have a look at all the recently reported cases. Mature and middle-aged men having liaisons with young girls. It’s so bad that even last week we had cases of teachers fondling their pupils in public swimming pool.
And by the way, whilst in Nairobi I never see a 24 year old age mate seriously pursuing me. I can assure you that they do fear me. I have to assure them that I am one of them, that we are age mates and can copulate and do other stupid things.
The only people I see harbouring unhealthy interest are men in their 40s, 50s and even 60s. Why? Do they think they can easily trick or that we are gullible?
For the sake of objectivity let me ask women this important question. Life on the universe is governed by certain laws of nature. Ships have to obey displacement, planes have to obey aerodynamics and gravity, plants grows towards light etc etc. Why do women think they can ignore the most important law that states there is no such a thing as a free lunch? Money is earned. Period.
Furthermore there is no dignity in money given or free stuff. You become subordinate to whoever give you free stuff. Whoever pays the piper call the tune, the Ancients advised.
But do allow me to make a certain important point based on personal observation. Men do sometimes force gifts on such vulnerable girls. Let me give you an example:
One day last December I was waiting for my Dad for a drink at Star Bucks Karatina. He was held up in a traffic snarl up at Giagatika. In the meantime I ordered myself a red wine and bent down to read my Grisham. I was engrossed in the book when through the corner of my eyes I observed the Waiter about to serve me another glass of wine. I was fully aware I hadn’t asked for one so before she placed it on my table I asked what the deal was. She pointed to the table across the balcony where two men were sat and one of them was winking and all smiles. I didn’t want to be rude but I quickly and politely asked him whether we knew each other. When the answer turned negative I told him that I was not interested in free drinks. Thankfully my Dad turned up then and I instructed the Waiter to bring him a cold Tusker to which he swears by. Why do men force or tempt girls with gifts, which they hadn’t asked for in the first place, and later demand payment of a different kind. Why?
You asked a question and answered yourself in the same reply.
Money.
Young women, actually scratch that, most mature adult women are captivated by money and more so by power.
Most of these Obado & Kabogo cases are all of University women who fell in the laps of rich, powerful men because of the seduction of comfort and financial status it gave them. Some were there to eat, grab a check and leave while others attempted the old trick of kupata mimba and trapping the man not realizing how savage some of these politicians are and how jealously they will protect their false image.
On to your experience, I could hazard a guess that the gentleman who attempted to get your attention was not much of a looker. Also, that sending a drink over ice breaker is something you only see in old bond movies. I would have cringed hard if I saw one of my guy friends attempt that.
I digress. My point is, assuming that was an attractive, young, well dressed man in a tailored suit - like myself ehem - attempting that you would probably have said, why not?
You would have offered the lad a slight inviting smile, maybe hoped he comes over and introduces himself formally.
You were just not, even remotely, attracted to the guy who winked at you.
