Fellas lets have a laugh.

[Ule Msee]

Msee is utuambie pia uturahisishie kazi

Comeuppance - a punishment or fate that someone deserves.

 

[shocks]

Had an acquaintance Campo girl, met at a party one evening tukaongea kiasi then as we were leaving asubuhi akani invite lunch in her room.
Bought a 2 litre soda then akaniwekea some vids to be watching as she finishes cooking, most of those were raunchy as hell, zile brazil festivals with naked ladies.....
Nikajua hapa ni kukula lunch na kukula mtu
Halfway through lunch a guy knocks the door, dame akafungua jamaa akaingia wakaanza kuitana babes.
Finished lunch nikachomoka with the remainder of the soda. Met her a few times later but that story was never revisited

 

[Ssabasajja]

Hapa mlipatana na wasichana bado in the slut phase. When a lot of men kiss the ground they walk on, kwanza from 17 to 24, madem wengi huwezi waambia chochote.

 

[Nattydread]

I was getting milk from their farm. This guy was a buddy of mine and used to escort me as we went for the milk. He even used to help me to katia her. One day I went to visit her after church since I was sure she was home alone but I found them cuddling behind the farmhouse.

Truth: you used to help him katia her.

 

[Nattydread]

Nika- knock kwa dirisha nikamwambia afungue alipokuja kwa mlango kuenda kuuliza ni nini nikamuweka kofi moto na kwenda zangu. The end.

Kofi moto ilimwongeza nyege tu.

 

[Nattydread]

Her boyfriend came and found me in her bed shirtless, wearing a short. Have you ever seen a man shaking with anger?

Very incomplete hekaya.

 

[Pamba 1]

Mimi nilipata anawatch movie na the guy she always tells me Is her BFF. GUarana tatu zilikuwa Kwa meza na mzinga ya captain Morgan. She was on his lap, and the door wasn't locked. realised I was the goat herder and the BFF was milking all the milk.

Maliza hekaya yote @Aviator

 

[Pamba 1]

Her boyfriend came and found me in her bed shirtless, wearing a short. Have you ever seen a man shaking with anger?

Wacheni uchoyo, malizeni hekaya.

 

[Pamba 1]

@Meria najua uko na hekaya?

 

[Aviator]

Maliza hekaya yote @Aviator

Punguza konyagi afisaa. Kymnjoro isn't kamnjoro.
Na ulete hekaya ya wahabeshi.

 

[kymnjoro]

Punguza konyagi afisaa. Kymnjoro isn't kamnjoro.
Na ulete hekaya ya wahabeshi.

True...

 

[StewMaker]

Had an acquaintance Campo girl, met at a party one evening tukaongea kiasi then as we were leaving asubuhi akani invite lunch in her room.
Bought a 2 litre soda then akaniwekea some vids to be watching as she finishes cooking, most of those were raunchy as hell, zile brazil festivals with maked ladies.....
Nikajua hapa ni kukula lunch na kukula mtu
Halfway through lunch a guy knocks the door, dame akafungua jamaa akaingia wakaanza kuitana babes.
Finished lunch nikachomoka with the remainder of the soda. Met her a few times later but that story was never revisited

Uyo alipigiwa simu na neighbours ati uko kwa room, so he came to mark territory

 

[Clemens]

Wacheni uchoyo, malizeni hekaya.

The guy started wailing "Joy unaweza nifanyia hivo", I had to leave since the guy created a scene, Joy also came a little later on since we weren't done yet. The guy later married her after campus.

 

[StewMaker]

Nkiwa campus I remember one of my friends warning me about a chic I was dating.so one Friday I call her and she tells me she travelled home embu she's not around.nkienda kutafta supper I spot her in one of my lecture's car kwa jam. Emily ghaseer wewe!!anyway she's now a single mother of two and we talk alot

 

[Ule Msee]

Nkiwa campus I remember one of my friends warning me about a chic I was dating.so one Friday I call her and she tells me she travelled home embu she's not around.nkienda kutafta supper I spot her in one of my lecture's car kwa jam. Emily ghaseer wewe!!anyway she's now a single mother of two and we talk alot

Leta hekaya mzima ya Emily

 

[Field Marshal]

Back in the day, soon after Form 6, I was living in D with a butcher kazin in phase fae in a single room. I had run away from my comfortable home to enjoy freedom. Kulikuwa na bar zinaitwa Customers and Tupendane. D was then new. I was totally in love with a fellow village gal from Ndeiya called Njeri. Most gorgeous little piece of ass I ever saw. She never allowed me to touch her prolly coz I didn't have game. One afternoon I went back to our room and found my kazin, 10years older, inside Njeri. I was so heart-broken I took off for three days. The other day I attended a funeral and met my crush looking like she had had a crash with an SGR train. She got married and is now actually a grandma. Nikajua hata mimi nimechapa because that's life. But her two daughters, well, those SINGO mathas are fine. Pengine ilikua mpango wa mungu to set me up in my old age...

 

[Luther12]

asubuhi ya Sunday,nilitumbukiza nguo zake kwa ndoo ya maji.

Legend!

 

[Kush Yule Mnono]

One time pale Deira ka weekend hivi nmeboeka mtaani, ka whatsapp kakaingia. Kuchek ni Akinyi anadai nimtembelee, hapo nkajua lazima moshi ionekane.

Mimi na kiherehere yangu nkapitia pale pizza inn na kukwachu ile pizza large (Akinyi's favourite) na mzinga ya pepsi na kudandia taxi. Kufika kwake napata ma timberland mbichi size ka 11 zimepakiwa hapo nje kwa mlango. Before kuknock nkaskia mujamaa anaongea with a heavy nigerian accent akidai apewe kama ile siku nyengine. So prince Oga alikuwa amefika mbele yangu.

Wueh! Ilibidi mimi na pizza plus mzinga yangu turudi kwetu. Maboy wangu ndo walibaki wamejibamba. That was the last time I ever discussed mucakwe matters na Akinyi though alinifuata fuata sana

 

[It's Me Scumbag]

One time pale Deira ka weekend hivi nmeboeka mtaani, ka whatsapp kakaingia. Kuchek ni Akinyi anadai nimtembelee, hapo nkajua lazima moshi ionekane.

Mimi na kiherehere yangu nkapitia pale pizza inn na kukwachu ile pizza large (Akinyi's favourite) na mzinga ya pepsi na kudandia taxi. Kufika kwake napata ma timberland mbichi size ka 11 zimepakiwa hapo nje kwa mlango. Before kuknock nkaskia mujamaa anaongea with a heavy nigerian accent akidai apewe kama ile siku nyengine. So prince Oga alikuwa amefika mbele yangu.

Wueh! Ilibidi mimi na pizza plus mzinga yangu turudi kwetu. Maboy wangu ndo walibaki wamejibamba. That was the last time I ever discussed mucakwe matters na Akinyi though alinifuata fuata sana

I will not say anything more but I do not know who is telling the truth or who stole a story...or embellishing one

 

[Kush Yule Mnono]

I will not say anything more but I do not know who is telling the truth or who stole a story...or embellishing one

Hehe ... I guess nli inspire hio song. Cheki ktalk 2015 hii hekaya iko huko full version.