Need your Sober Advice Elders bila Bias

A

Arap Mashamba

New Lister
There is this lady an Ex Girlfriend that we used to date and later had a Kid, A daughter to be specific she is 3 years now, unfortunately we broke up 2 years ago and she had been raising the Kid single handedly until until a month ago after a series of negotiations that she decided to Give me the Kid, The rules of engagement was that she would be spending some time with her at least once a month.
She wholeheartedly agreed and now i have the Kid, she stays with my Paros, luckily there is a nanny who agreed to take care of her including my paros agreed, am soo busy especially with this pandemic. The kid is coping on well and she actually has enough company especially now that kids are at home, i try my best to be with her in my free time. i must say she is comfortable.
My issue is now the Mother,She is Jobless lives at a aunts place she is actually not comfortable, her life is just a mess.A victim of circumstance but one thing i have never under estimated her potential, a schemer. According to my observation probably she is waiting for Corona Pandemic to end get a job and come back for the Kid.
Are there any legal options i can take prior so that in any eventuality she comes back i can defend myself with, something calculated that she may not be involved with right now, She does not need to be served right away, i can play along from a distance.
Currently am not in any serious relationship, just working on myself first, i may get into dating maybe in 2024. AM OUT.
 
upepo

upepo

Elder Lister
Arap Mashamba said:
There is this lady an Ex Girlfriend that we used to date and later had a Kid, A daughter to be specific she is 3 years now, unfortunately we broke up 2 years ago and she had been raising the Kid single handedly until until a month ago after a series of negotiations that she decided to Give me the Kid, The rules of engagement was that she would be spending some time with her at least once a month.
She wholeheartedly agreed and now i have the Kid, she stays with my Paros, luckily there is a nanny who agreed to take care of her including my paros agreed, am soo busy especially with this pandemic. The kid is coping on well and she actually has enough company especially now that kids are at home, i try my best to be with her in my free time. i must say she is comfortable.
My issue is now the Mother,She is Jobless lives at a aunts place she is actually not comfortable, her life is just a mess.A victim of circumstance but one thing i have never under estimated her potential, a schemer. According to my observation probably she is waiting for Corona Pandemic to end get a job and come back for the Kid.
Are there any legal options i can take prior so that in any eventuality she comes back i can defend myself with, something calculated that she may not be involved with right now, She does not need to be served right away, i can play along from a distance.
Currently am not in any serious relationship, just working on myself first, i may get into dating maybe in 2024. AM OUT.
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You need to keep documentary evidence to show that you have been living with the kid and that she is happy. Keep lots of pictures documenting her life as well. Make sure when she registers for anything, you keep the evidence. If you or someone else buys her something, keep the receipts. When the mother comes visiting, make sure they take pictures you can keep. This information might come in handy at some point.
 
Duke of Busia

Duke of Busia

Elder Lister
Think about the 3 years that you were absent in both of their lives. They were comfortable until when you decided to show up and now you want everything for yourself, the kid and now your ex girlfriend baba si you're just selfish.

What is her endgame in all this escapade. Your endgame is clear and you don't need any advise on the same

Now let me tell you the truth women never go back financially she is just catching her breath once her lungs will be full she will be shouting at you on how you forced her to make things work yet you don't put in any effort na hivo ndio ata Enda tena kumbuka she already labelled you as a deadbeat
 
A

Arap Mashamba

New Lister
upepo said:
You need to keep documentary evidence to show that you have been living with the kid and that she is happy. Keep lots of pictures documenting her life as well. Make sure when she registers for anything, you keep the evidence. If you or someone else buys her something, keep the receipts. When the mother comes visiting, make sure they take pictures you can keep. This information might come in handy at some point.
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Noted.
 
A

Arap Mashamba

New Lister
Duke of Busia said:
Think about the 3 years that you were absent in both of their lives. They were comfortable until when you decided to show up and now you want everything for yourself, the kid and now your ex girlfriend baba si you're just selfish.

What is her endgame in all this escapade. Your endgame is clear and you don't need any advise on the same

Now let me tell you the truth women never go back financially she is just catching her breath once her lungs will be full she will be shouting at you on how you forced her to make things work yet you don't put in any effort na hivo ndio ata Enda tena kumbuka she already labelled you as a deadbeat
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It never worked between us despite the fact that we realy tried it ended due to circumstances that i may not give you the details. She is so contend with that also. Re paragraph your sentence well again Old man.
 
A

Arap Mashamba

New Lister
uwesmake said:
You are hurting your own kid. You separate her from her mother upelekee wazazi wako over 50 years na mboch wafanyie mtoto nni? She will curse you once she hits 18. Wacha mtoto akae na mamake. Support the mother of your child, ama ufanye tu chenye unataka,
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@Uwesmakendeste You clearly have a point, only that there was need for the separation, The lady was disowned by her parents based on her character, she is never stable in a relationship. i took the kid out of request from her it was a mutual sober decision neither did i coerce her.
 
Aviator

Aviator

Elder Lister
uwesmake said:
You are hurting your own kid. You separate her from her mother upelekee wazazi wako over 50 years na mboch wafanyie mtoto nni? She will curse you once she hits 18. Wacha mtoto akae na mamake. Support the mother of your child, ama ufanye tu chenye unataka,
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This can't be the uwesmake I know. Can't give such sober advice.
 
stanmwa

stanmwa

Senior Lister
upepo said:
You need to keep documentary evidence to show that you have been living with the kid and that she is happy. Keep lots of pictures documenting her life as well. Make sure when she registers for anything, you keep the evidence. If you or someone else buys her something, keep the receipts. When the mother comes visiting, make sure they take pictures you can keep. This information might come in handy at some point.
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Vile Upepo amesema hapo. Fungua file baba. If she demands the kid back and it ends up in court, she will need to prove that you are not a good parent to gain custody.

If she agreed to let you stay with a girl that is a plus. You are the custodian currently. That must not always be determined my a court of law. Only disputes are taken to court.

Alcoholism, irresponsibility and criminal activity can be a basis for the Court giving her custody. So keep anything that may be used under wraps. Oh, and check your status updates on social media.


You need to be the one living with your daughter, not your parents. That can be used to demonstrate that you actually are not interested in custody. Move in with your parents if you must. Otherwise a sensible judge will not allow you to pass your responsibility to third parties.
 
Anglututu

Anglututu

Elder Lister
You just need to talk like grown ups, have a meeting, include parents or people yours and hers. Considering the kid will get used to her new environment, it won't be wise to uproot her again when the mother's situation gets better.
Don't squeeze her out completely.
This and the receipts and evidence advise given earlier.
 
LeoK

LeoK

Elder Lister
"....am soo busy especially with this pandemic.,," -YOUR WORDS!

Why do you want a kid you are not ready to raise? Dumping the kid on the grandparents is not the same as parenting. But you are both too stupid to understand that. Seems you are engaged in a juvenile spat in complete disregard of how much it harms the innocent child.
 
M

mentor

New Lister
Problem not fully defined, the mother did an excellent job the 2 years you went MIA, now a few days na umeitisha advice from an online?
Just provide abundantly for your daughter wherever she will be.... You undeserving parents are psychologically torturing an innocent soul
 
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