Field Marshal
Elder Lister
It started very well between me and @Nefertities back in the day. We were KTalk's dream couple; witty, hot and happening. But on the road to Nirvana, I turned my gaze away awhile and she disappeared. You are all testimony to the entreaties I have made to her over the years, yes, years, as hyenas like the Lardy Lord of Dagoretti (pun fully intended, gosh, am good!) circled. All in vain. It's like banging my head against Mt Kenya and hoping it to move. It's just hurt my head.
Enter stage left the young little thing @Tiiga Waana. At first, I was sceptical, not least because her handle is misspelt. I thought it was the old, fat, belching pitch-black shemale of Thika Road a new trap laid to ensnare an old randy man. But with time I determined that this was not the case. It possibly was, I determined through guile and tact, a young damsel in need of dick. And who am I to deny a bonny lass her intimate rights?
The lyrics flawed effortlessly, and love blossomed. Eternal promises were made, and assurances of explosive congress given. My new love even sent me a breathing goat and fine wine for my birthday (how she managed to do that from London still beats me). I was on cloud nine. Finally, it was happening for me.
And then she ghosted me.
No calls. No texts. No inbox. No sweet words even here.
It has devastated me and dealt a very cruel blow to my self-esteem. I am dejected, dispirited and defeated.
Kwani what's wrong with me? Why is it that I keep losing every fine lass that comes my way? Don't I have what it takes? Kwani mimi hunuka uzee? Am I such an objectionable, egocentric and delusional asshole?
I heard somebody say the other day huu ni mwaka wa kuambiana ukweli. My fellow Senetas, nichanueni.
Nini mbaya na mimi eti warembo woote napenda na na-admire wananitoroka nabaki na gravity-impaired post-walls (no names here, please) pekee for recreational use?
Enter stage left the young little thing @Tiiga Waana. At first, I was sceptical, not least because her handle is misspelt. I thought it was the old, fat, belching pitch-black shemale of Thika Road a new trap laid to ensnare an old randy man. But with time I determined that this was not the case. It possibly was, I determined through guile and tact, a young damsel in need of dick. And who am I to deny a bonny lass her intimate rights?
The lyrics flawed effortlessly, and love blossomed. Eternal promises were made, and assurances of explosive congress given. My new love even sent me a breathing goat and fine wine for my birthday (how she managed to do that from London still beats me). I was on cloud nine. Finally, it was happening for me.
And then she ghosted me.
No calls. No texts. No inbox. No sweet words even here.
It has devastated me and dealt a very cruel blow to my self-esteem. I am dejected, dispirited and defeated.
Kwani what's wrong with me? Why is it that I keep losing every fine lass that comes my way? Don't I have what it takes? Kwani mimi hunuka uzee? Am I such an objectionable, egocentric and delusional asshole?
I heard somebody say the other day huu ni mwaka wa kuambiana ukweli. My fellow Senetas, nichanueni.
Nini mbaya na mimi eti warembo woote napenda na na-admire wananitoroka nabaki na gravity-impaired post-walls (no names here, please) pekee for recreational use?
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