This is Guka - The Killer Monkeys of Kirinyaga And Other Stories

Field Marshal

Field Marshal

Elder Lister
OK, I just wanted to use that headline. It's got nothing to do with what I am writing.

Now, yesterday as we were drinking choice muratina brewed by Munaki pale Lussiggiti, just after the police road-block which is serving as a toll station for the gullible (not me!), a junior Mzee of Mwarimo's age, about 55 years, came up with an interesting theory about the youtmen of today.

This is the abridged, redacted version. Redacted because 'cia athuri ti como' (of men is quietness).

"These little shits are so lazy they can't even come up with original words to enrich their own language. Today the Gikuyu we speak is half-English-half Borana. Hakuna lingual innovation hata kidogo kutoka kwa hawa watoto wetu.

In our time, kitu ikitokea mpya tulikuwa tunaipea jina hapo hapo ya Ki-Gikuyu. Kama ni Aids, ni 'mukingo'. Kama ni motor-cycle ni 'nduthi'. Kama ni motor-vehicle ni 'ngari'. Kama ni Raila ni 'Kimundu'.

Lakini sasa ona hii watoto wetu. Covid ni nini? Ama computer? Ama airtime?

Bure kabisa! Kazi yao ni ku-complain vile Uhuru amewanyanyasa. Uhuru ni wa mama yao? Hiyo uchumi wanasema imesorota ndiyo walitengenesa?"

We all kept quiet for 5 minutes then with one accord observed, "Na hapo umeongea Wa Chiru."
 
Field Marshal said:
OK, I just wanted to use that headline. It's got nothing to do with what I am writing.

Now, yesterday as we were drinking choice muratina brewed by Munaki pale Lussiggiti, just after the police road-block which is serving as a toll station for the gullible (not me!), a junior Mzee of Mwarimo's age, about 55 years, came up with an interesting theory about the youtmen of today.

This is the abridged, redacted version. Redacted because 'cia athuri ti como' (of men is quietness).

"These little shits are so lazy they can't even come up with original words to enrich their own language. Today the Gikuyu we speak is half-English-half Borana. Hakuna lingual innovation hata kidogo kutoka kwa hawa watoto wetu.

In our time, kitu ikitokea mpya tulikuwa tunaipea jina hapo hapo ya Ki-Gikuyu. Kama ni Aids, ni 'mukingo'. Kama ni motor-cycle ni 'nduthi'. Kama ni motor-vehicle ni 'ngari'. Kama ni Raila ni 'Kimundu'.

Lakini sasa ona hii watoto wetu. Covid ni nini? Ama computer? Ama airtime?

Bure kabisa! Kazi yao ni ku-complain vile Uhuru amewanyanyasa. Uhuru ni wa mama yao? Hiyo uchumi wanasema imesorota ndiyo walitengenesa?"

We all kept quiet for 5 minutes then with one accord observed, "Na hapo umeongea Wa Chiru."
Click to expand...
Wacha guka do you know the word kunguru comes from Mahuru/Ihuru and that is what we people of Gichagi call those slay Queens asking you for yorghurt ya mtoto si wako.
 
It's Me Scumbag said:
@Wa Chiru some would beg to differ on language adaptation/creation bit... This is a new language Guka.

View attachment 13910



Honestly I am also stumped. This is real Martian. Soon we will need translators to talk to the youngins...
Click to expand...
They might actually want to do a background check on how my generation the generation before me came up with their sheng lexicon

Ndore-
Wide
Madiaba
Bolingo
Dimanga
Bien
Rasa



Those words and many more didn't just mushroomed from no where lakini hizi zao si ni bengi and criss crossing words

Chang'li- changaa
Digree- grade to mean high grade
Tifi- fiti
Bwegze- mbili
Uzgun- fegi


Iyo yao ni umeffi 101
 
Field Marshal said:
OK, I just wanted to use that headline. It's got nothing to do with what I am writing.

Now, yesterday as we were drinking choice muratina brewed by Munaki pale Lussiggiti, just after the police road-block which is serving as a toll station for the gullible (not me!), a junior Mzee of Mwarimo's age, about 55 years, came up with an interesting theory about the youtmen of today.

This is the abridged, redacted version. Redacted because 'cia athuri ti como' (of men is quietness).

"These little shits are so lazy they can't even come up with original words to enrich their own language. Today the Gikuyu we speak is half-English-half Borana. Hakuna lingual innovation hata kidogo kutoka kwa hawa watoto wetu.

In our time, kitu ikitokea mpya tulikuwa tunaipea jina hapo hapo ya Ki-Gikuyu. Kama ni Aids, ni 'mukingo'. Kama ni motor-cycle ni 'nduthi'. Kama ni motor-vehicle ni 'ngari'. Kama ni Raila ni 'Kimundu'.

Lakini sasa ona hii watoto wetu. Covid ni nini? Ama computer? Ama airtime?

Bure kabisa! Kazi yao ni ku-complain vile Uhuru amewanyanyasa. Uhuru ni wa mama yao? Hiyo uchumi wanasema imesorota ndiyo walitengenesa?"

We all kept quiet for 5 minutes then with one accord observed, "Na hapo umeongea Wa Chiru."
Click to expand...
Your aim as always is to quarrel those who chastise Uhuru's government...I know the next post's theme will be on breeding...
 
Field Marshal said:
OK, I just wanted to use that headline. It's got nothing to do with what I am writing.

Now, yesterday as we were drinking choice muratina brewed by Munaki pale Lussiggiti, just after the police road-block which is serving as a toll station for the gullible (not me!), a junior Mzee of Mwarimo's age, about 55 years, came up with an interesting theory about the youtmen of today.

This is the abridged, redacted version. Redacted because 'cia athuri ti como' (of men is quietness).

"These little shits are so lazy they can't even come up with original words to enrich their own language. Today the Gikuyu we speak is half-English-half Borana. Hakuna lingual innovation hata kidogo kutoka kwa hawa watoto wetu.

In our time, kitu ikitokea mpya tulikuwa tunaipea jina hapo hapo ya Ki-Gikuyu. Kama ni Aids, ni 'mukingo'. Kama ni motor-cycle ni 'nduthi'. Kama ni motor-vehicle ni 'ngari'. Kama ni Raila ni 'Kimundu'.

Lakini sasa ona hii watoto wetu. Covid ni nini? Ama computer? Ama airtime?

Bure kabisa! Kazi yao ni ku-complain vile Uhuru amewanyanyasa. Uhuru ni wa mama yao? Hiyo uchumi wanasema imesorota ndiyo walitengenesa?"

We all kept quiet for 5 minutes then with one accord observed, "Na hapo umeongea Wa Chiru."
Click to expand...
Unfortunately hao wazee sio werevu sana kwa sababu:
Hiyo uchumi wanasema imesorota kwani Uhuru ndiyo alitengenesa iliatuharibie?"
If thats the reasoning of wazees then they are better off in retirement!
 
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