This is Guka - Nisaidieni Pris Juu Ya Hii PTSD...

Field Marshal

Field Marshal

Elder Lister
I like to pride myself as a tough old negro, you know, gone around the world twice, ferked a cockroach, and even slapped a cop with an AK outside a bar at Wilson. That type of guy.

Lakini kuna picha niliona on these streets (ama kule kwingine) more than a year ago which has become a living nightmare for me. I just can't get it off my mind, and it's making me fearful of my surroundings unless I am in the house. Saa zingine naamka usiku with nightmares banae.

The picture - and please nobody should repost it - was of this young poor Kamba lass who had apparently been involved in an altercation with her husband/fiance, or somebody close.

So on this day she's sitting on a chair outside holding some woven tray when the monster sneaks behind her with a sharp panga and uses it to behead her in one blow.

Her head falls to her chest and is only held on by a tiny piece of skin near her throat that wasn't cut.

The crazy, crazy thing is that the force of the blade didn't even move her. In the picture, she is still sitting on her chair straight, the eyes on her head still open. Quite eerie I tell you.

Man! Maaaan! I can't get that shit out of my mind. It's just sending me ferking crazy. And its getting worse.

Increasingly, I am being unable to function well in open spaces. In cafes, bars and restaurants, am finding myself sitting with my back to the wall. Yaani I have developed an irrational fear of suffering the fate of the poor woman, despite the fact that I don't even have significant enemies.

I realized I have a problem today when I visited my hacienda in Ndeiya and decided to take a nap on a grassy patch. Suddenly all manner of fears started running through my mind. What if a madman came and dropped a huge rock on my head? What if he came with a panga and did that Kamba shit? What if....

I just gave up nikajipa shughuli.

Any psychologists in the house? I need help man...
 
I hope this helps, ......... of all the things that I know, this never leaves my mind. The inverted image of this Chicago Bulls logo looks like a robot violating a crab 😐
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That was a horrific picture indeed. A lot of soulless mofos in this World. Granted, the chances of someone hacking your head must be really low. And most times, as with the Moi Uni damsel in Eldoret, it's a result of a crime of passion meted by men on women.

So, take comfort in statistics and relax. What I won't mention is that the wicked flee when no one pursueth - Proverbs 28:1
 
Clemens said:
That's a long time to still have the pictures embedded in your mind, maybe.. just maybe it resonates with something that has been lurking in your memories ( maybe something you witnessed in the maumau war period?).

Iam pretending to be the roadside version of Dr Njenga.
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I don't know man. But it's creeping me out bro...
 
Field Marshal said:
I don't know man. But it's creeping me out bro...
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Pole Bro, some of us in the security sector are numbed by most dead bodies since we have to visit the scene of occurrence/crime scene in the case of murder. We actually make fun of guys who throw up their guts out, especially when dealing with semi-decomposed bodies. But some especially violent death especially of young kids affects even the most experienced guys.
 
Clemens said:
Pole Bro, some of us in the security sector are numbed by most dead bodies since we have to visit the scene of occurrence/crime scene in the case of murder. We actually make fun of guys who throw up their guts out, especially when dealing with semi-decomposed bodies. But some especially violent death especially of young kids affects even the most experienced guys.
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A dead body doesn't scare me, a mutilated one on the other hand horrifies me when I think, this here was once a human being like me.

In my previous life I studied anatomy at Chiromo for an year. To shock start us, our lecturers took us 19-year olds to the anatomy lab on day one without counselling or warning and introduced us to our study specimens, 30 dead bodies laid out in two neat rows. Most incidentally were Maasai, some bado with necklaces and shit.

I felt nothing.

The trauma for me started when I got to KNH and saw people dying like flies, literally. Yaani at 21 you have witnessed kedo 50 people dying. A story for another day.
 
YoungD said:
let me compound your nightmares....
View attachment 81009
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Bonobozz are truly amazing. Truly, truly amazing. Wanatombana kama panya and expect other people to shoulder the burdens of "free" pampers, pads, education up to university level, health, food during small droughts, free endless credit, etc etc.

Na nikiwaita monkeys mnasema natusiana....
 
Field Marshal said:
Bonobozz are truly amazing. Truly, truly amazing. Wanatombana kama panya and expect other people to shoulder the burdens of "free" pampers, pads, education up to university level, health, food during small droughts, free endless credit, etc etc.

Na nikiwaita monkeys mnasema natusiana....
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The bisch is not even grateful for Linda mama, she's still asking for more free stuff!
 
Field Marshal said:
I like to pride myself as a tough old negro, you know, gone around the world twice, ferked a cockroach, and even slapped a cop with an AK outside a bar at Wilson. That type of guy.

Lakini kuna picha niliona on these streets (ama kule kwingine) more than a year ago which has become a living nightmare for me. I just can't get it off my mind, and it's making me fearful of my surroundings unless I am in the house. Saa zingine naamka usiku with nightmares banae.

The picture - and please nobody should repost it - was of this young poor Kamba lass who had apparently been involved in an altercation with her husband/fiance, or somebody close.

So on this day she's sitting on a chair outside holding some woven tray when the monster sneaks behind her with a sharp panga and uses it to behead her in one blow.

Her head falls to her chest and is only held on by a tiny piece of skin near her throat that wasn't cut.

The crazy, crazy thing is that the force of the blade didn't even move her. In the picture, she is still sitting on her chair straight, the eyes on her head still open. Quite eerie I tell you.

Man! Maaaan! I can't get that shit out of my mind. It's just sending me ferking crazy. And its getting worse.

Increasingly, I am being unable to function well in open spaces. In cafes, bars and restaurants, am finding myself sitting with my back to the wall. Yaani I have developed an irrational fear of suffering the fate of the poor woman, despite the fact that I don't even have significant enemies.

I realized I have a problem today when I visited my hacienda in Ndeiya and decided to take a nap on a grassy patch. Suddenly all manner of fears started running through my mind. What if a madman came and dropped a huge rock on my head? What if he came with a panga and did that Kamba shit? What if....

I just gave up nikajipa shughuli.

Any psychologists in the house? I need help man...
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Guka. I can relate.

I once saw a guy on a bike completely crushed to minced meat near Strathmore Secondary by a honey sucker lorry.

What a shitty way to go.

I found that humor and talking about it helped relieve some of my PTSD.

“Cowards die many times before their deaths; the valiant never taste of death but once” Julius Caesar in Act II, Scene 2

So, take courage in knowing you might expire at an old ripe age with a young lass with soft breasts by you like King David.

Or you might be done in by someone close to you. Also, like King David did Uriah and Bethsheba.
 
Experiencing that shock means you're human, you don't want to be desensitized to the point of feeling nothing, it's a spectrum on one end we have the normal accidents on the other end we have those south american gangland executions you don't want to see. You don't want to be too sensitive and on the other hand you don't want to be numb to danger and human suffering.
 
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