Field Marshal
Elder Lister
So I had a small accident in the house (mwiko? Falling down the stairs? Top drawer falling down on me? Grand-child doing a number on my bald head with a serving spoon? Whatever?) which left me with a two inch deep cut on my head.
I was of two minds - to just do home first aid or to drive to the nearest health facility - the controversial (redacted) Hospital for assessment and possible suturing. I didn't want to make the long drive to a facility where I could be treated free (yaani najulikana).
(Coming so soon after my gastritis/Covid scare, I have been left wondering, huu mwaka tutatoboa kweli?)
Anyway, to (redacted) Hospital I went.
After a cursory examination by some bored nurses, the verdict came back; they were going to dress the wound (for 800/=), and if I had Ksh5,500/= cash, the doctor could do the two stitches needed.
I was outraged. That kind of money for a superficial cut? Who the ferk were these people, shylocks or medics? I have experience with these kind of things, and I can authoritatively say this (over Sh6,000) was a little over the top.
So, I told them to just maintain the wound with a saline dress (imagine ni mimi nawaelezea!) and to give me a tetanus jab and I would return later for the suture (should be done within 24 hours).
And then a crazy thought entered my mind.
Just round the corner was the Langata City Council Health Clinic. What if I went there and had a second opinion?
I went back home, had uji and then went to the city council clinic. For good measure, I carried with me 2k. If they made me wait for 20 minutes, I would leave and make the long drive to the facility 'najulikana'.
What happened at the City Council clinic surprised me. They took down all my vitals, including BMI (height and weight, very rare in private clinics), asked me the last time I had done a HIV test and if I wanted a free one, and had the wound examined by a medic and dressed. ALL WITHIN 40 MINUTES. There were only three other patients, one of whom drove in in a Merc!
But I was in for another surprise.
After the dressing, a very polite nurse took my card and came back with paracetamol and Amoxil 500mg full course (1X3).
"Mzee, you are good to go. Make sure you finish the Amoxil dose, and take care of yourself. As much as possible avoid these small accidents. Come back after two days we see your progress".
Another thing I noticed. During the history taking the medic was very keen that my cut was not a case of assault or domestic violence. She kept asking me leading questions that kept me smiling (been there, done that - the questions go like, "Mnaishi na nani? Mbona hakukuleta?, Anajua uko huku?"). Absolutely professional.
After a while, me: "Asante. Cashier ako wapi?"
They looked at me blankly.
"Cashier? Hapa hakuna cashier. This facility is free, courtesy of the county gavament".
Let me just say I almost fell off the chair.
Rant and whine how badly Kenya has fallen, but some things still work, apparently.
If only you mathafakas could stop breeding like rats and worked harder instead of complaining the whole day.
PS: AND I AM NO PEASANT, JUST A BRAVE KENYAN.
I was of two minds - to just do home first aid or to drive to the nearest health facility - the controversial (redacted) Hospital for assessment and possible suturing. I didn't want to make the long drive to a facility where I could be treated free (yaani najulikana).
(Coming so soon after my gastritis/Covid scare, I have been left wondering, huu mwaka tutatoboa kweli?)
Anyway, to (redacted) Hospital I went.
After a cursory examination by some bored nurses, the verdict came back; they were going to dress the wound (for 800/=), and if I had Ksh5,500/= cash, the doctor could do the two stitches needed.
I was outraged. That kind of money for a superficial cut? Who the ferk were these people, shylocks or medics? I have experience with these kind of things, and I can authoritatively say this (over Sh6,000) was a little over the top.
So, I told them to just maintain the wound with a saline dress (imagine ni mimi nawaelezea!) and to give me a tetanus jab and I would return later for the suture (should be done within 24 hours).
And then a crazy thought entered my mind.
Just round the corner was the Langata City Council Health Clinic. What if I went there and had a second opinion?
I went back home, had uji and then went to the city council clinic. For good measure, I carried with me 2k. If they made me wait for 20 minutes, I would leave and make the long drive to the facility 'najulikana'.
What happened at the City Council clinic surprised me. They took down all my vitals, including BMI (height and weight, very rare in private clinics), asked me the last time I had done a HIV test and if I wanted a free one, and had the wound examined by a medic and dressed. ALL WITHIN 40 MINUTES. There were only three other patients, one of whom drove in in a Merc!
But I was in for another surprise.
After the dressing, a very polite nurse took my card and came back with paracetamol and Amoxil 500mg full course (1X3).
"Mzee, you are good to go. Make sure you finish the Amoxil dose, and take care of yourself. As much as possible avoid these small accidents. Come back after two days we see your progress".
Another thing I noticed. During the history taking the medic was very keen that my cut was not a case of assault or domestic violence. She kept asking me leading questions that kept me smiling (been there, done that - the questions go like, "Mnaishi na nani? Mbona hakukuleta?, Anajua uko huku?"). Absolutely professional.
After a while, me: "Asante. Cashier ako wapi?"
They looked at me blankly.
"Cashier? Hapa hakuna cashier. This facility is free, courtesy of the county gavament".
Let me just say I almost fell off the chair.
Rant and whine how badly Kenya has fallen, but some things still work, apparently.
If only you mathafakas could stop breeding like rats and worked harder instead of complaining the whole day.
PS: AND I AM NO PEASANT, JUST A BRAVE KENYAN.