Kubomoa kabati, and letting out the skeletons

Aviator

Aviator

Elder Lister
Well, we all have that one thing we have done and wouldn't wish anyone to know about it. From killing to climbing. Let's talk them out. I go first.

Once upon a time, I was an examiner. Candidates have this weird thing in them that makes them prefer to take exams at odd hours. I happened to be the assigned examiner for a group of 12 for an exam running from 4pmto 8pm. On a Saturday. The day after Good Friday. Unfortunately, I had a date that very evening at 5pm.
Normally, the examiner's role was to put on the computers, load the exam, verify the identity of the candidates and then sit for 4 hours doing absolutely nothing, then upload the results after the exam ends. Even if the candidates finished the exam in 10 mins, you couldn't upload the results before the time ends.

There was no way I was going to miss the date just because some overenthusiastic IT fellows were looking for a promotion by passing that exam at the expense of my precious time. And my stupid manager had the stupidity in his head to assign me that slot just to earn some money for an ungrateful muhindi. So I got to the server room at 3pm. Them days, we used to connect to the internet through Motorola modems. They had a switch indicating the power supply- between 120V and 240V. So the switch was always at 240V. All I had to do was dial and we would be connected. But I had other plans. By 3.30pm, I had put the switch at 120V, powered on the damn modem, witnessed some smoke from its coils, returned the switch back to 240V, called my manager, turned on the fans and opened the windows for the smell of burnt electronics to escape. Fortunately, my manager was in town and came in like 5mins, visibly intoxicated. I explained that I couldn't get the modem up and after he struggled to power it, moving from socket to socket, he gave up.

I left him to explain to the irate candidates why they couldn't sit for their exam after preparing for 9 months. And proceeded for my date which ended on Easter Monday at 7pm.
 
There's this school whose Public Address system the Mice had done a good job of the Speaker wires in the veiling so we were contracted to replace with new wires and do some decent piping.
After job completion we had to test the working so we put a flash disk on the Tv to play some music. Wah kumbe it had a virus which shorted the board. Since no staff was present, i asked my fellow Fundi to switch everything off then go back and claim our pay. This was later blamed on the carelessness of the students who were made to cough 50 Bob each. The upside of it is that this was replaced with a hi-tech system which rivals any in most Nairobi schools. Since we had never messed anything on the school before we weren't suspected.
 
Aviator said:
Well, we all have that one thing we have done and wouldn't wish anyone to know about it. From killing to climbing. Let's talk them out. I go first.

Once upon a time, I was an examiner. Candidates have this weird thing in them that makes them prefer to take exams at odd hours. I happened to be the assigned examiner for a group of 12 for an exam running from 4pmto 8pm. On a Saturday. The day after Good Friday. Unfortunately, I had a date that very evening at 5pm.
Normally, the examiner's role was to put on the computers, load the exam, verify the identity of the candidates and then sit for 4 hours doing absolutely nothing, then upload the results after the exam ends. Even if the candidates finished the exam in 10 mins, you couldn't upload the results before the time ends.

There was no way I was going to miss the date just because some overenthusiastic IT fellows were looking for a promotion by passing that exam at the expense of my precious time. And my stupid manager had the stupidity in his head to assign me that slot just to earn some money for an ungrateful muhindi. So I got to the server room at 3pm. Them days, we used to connect to the internet through Motorola modems. They had a switch indicating the power supply- between 120V and 240V. So the switch was always at 240V. All I had to do was dial and we would be connected. But I had other plans. By 3.30pm, I had put the switch at 120V, powered on the damn modem, witnessed some smoke from its coils, returned the switch back to 240V, called my manager, turned on the fans and opened the windows for the smell of burnt electronics to escape. Fortunately, my manager was in town and came in like 5mins, visibly intoxicated. I explained that I couldn't get the modem up and after he struggled to power it, moving from socket to socket, he gave up.

I left him to explain to the irate candidates why they couldn't sit for their exam after preparing for 9 months. And proceeded for my date which ended on Easter Monday at 7pm.
Click to expand...

You are a dangerous woman @Aviator :)
 
Wegrow said:
There's this school whose Public Address system the Mice had done a good job of the Speaker wires in the veiling so we were contracted to replace with new wires and do some decent piping.
After job completion we had to test the working so we put a flash disk on the Tv to play some music. Wah kumbe it had a virus which shorted the board. Since no staff was present, i asked my fellow Fundi to switch everything off then go back and claim our pay. This was later blamed on the carelessness of the students who were made to cough 50 Bob each. The upside of it is that this was replaced with a hi-tech system which rivals any in most Nairobi schools. Since we had never messed anything on the school before we weren't suspected.
Click to expand...
 
Aviator said:
Well, we all have that one thing we have done and wouldn't wish anyone to know about it. From killing to climbing. Let's talk them out. I go first.

Once upon a time, I was an examiner. Candidates have this weird thing in them that makes them prefer to take exams at odd hours. I happened to be the assigned examiner for a group of 12 for an exam running from 4pmto 8pm. On a Saturday. The day after Good Friday. Unfortunately, I had a date that very evening at 5pm.
Normally, the examiner's role was to put on the computers, load the exam, verify the identity of the candidates and then sit for 4 hours doing absolutely nothing, then upload the results after the exam ends. Even if the candidates finished the exam in 10 mins, you couldn't upload the results before the time ends.

There was no way I was going to miss the date just because some overenthusiastic IT fellows were looking for a promotion by passing that exam at the expense of my precious time. And my stupid manager had the stupidity in his head to assign me that slot just to earn some money for an ungrateful muhindi. So I got to the server room at 3pm. Them days, we used to connect to the internet through Motorola modems. They had a switch indicating the power supply- between 120V and 240V. So the switch was always at 240V. All I had to do was dial and we would be connected. But I had other plans. By 3.30pm, I had put the switch at 120V, powered on the damn modem, witnessed some smoke from its coils, returned the switch back to 240V, called my manager, turned on the fans and opened the windows for the smell of burnt electronics to escape. Fortunately, my manager was in town and came in like 5mins, visibly intoxicated. I explained that I couldn't get the modem up and after he struggled to power it, moving from socket to socket, he gave up.

I left him to explain to the irate candidates why they couldn't sit for their exam after preparing for 9 months. And proceeded for my date which ended on Easter Monday at 7pm.
Click to expand...

Nakuona hapo museum hill hiyo mahali ya metric. Kumbe ni wewe ?
 
In my early years as an inexperienced heavy goods vehicles driver,I got a job with a company that had a fleet of about 40 vehicles.
To get a full time position, you had to work six days a week and one Sunday every two weeks for three months.
The only good thing was that on Sunday, we only had three drivers and you could pick any of the trucks!
So, kazi ni kufika earlier than the other two drivers, pick the newest truck ujibambe!

That Sunday morning nilifika na hangover mbaya mbovu and I grabbed the keys to the newest truck I had always wanted to drive but as I reversed walai I underestimated the power on this bad bitch!
More than £17000 of damage on the near side. nikaipeleka mbele as it was, returned the keys and picked up the keys to a truck I was familiar with.

The following Monday all drivers were given new rules about signing up before taking keys to any truck.
Plus a new CCTV system was installed!
 
Next to where I rented was a prosperity gospel Church those ones with speakers fit for concerts and a pastor with a hoarse voice after years of shouting his lungs out. This bugger used to open His small mabati church on Saturdays and Sundays kitu 5:30am na mapiano za upuzi such that sleeping wasn't possible na kelele inaendelea Hadi 5-6pm.

One Sunday morning I decided enough is enough woke up and headed to the church angrily with a machete in tow. Before nifike kwa kanisa nikaona hizo cable za stima from one of the buildings opposite the church na imeingia kanisani nikajua nimepata "The Holy Grail" . Ghaseer nilikata hiyo wire mara mbili nikabeba ya katikati wakabaki kwa giza and had a good peaceful morning sleep.
 
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