upepo
Elder Lister
Paw Paw fruits fetch good prices in the estates, despite tasting like a scam
My village people don't understand why selling paw paw fruits at the farm is BANNED.
You'll see a Mama Soko walk into the compound - we don't have gates - and, if there is - it's rarely locked.
Mama will walk to the nearest paw paw tree, point at the fruits, and ask - quite nonchalantly:
"Unataka pesa ya hizi zisiharibike...?"
"Nani hataki pesa?" You shoot back.
They usually have a young lad in company, lagging a long pole. She will beckon for him - to start harvesting.
If you are a newbie in the scam, they'll beat you to the game. But, I'm not. Najua hii mchezo ya town.
"Ngoja msee. Mnanunua pesa ngapi?" I ask.
Now, Mama launches into a well-scripted rant how messed up the economy is... Why did we even elect this guy Zakayo?
At this point, am in agreement. I usually throw in a few statements along the line of "we had George Luchiri Wajackoyah right there on the ballot paper, but we ignored..."
She'll think I've swallowed the bait.
The economy maestro will spice it up with a little emotional blackmail:
"You are my son.." - or the common "...my daughter Caro is at home with fee balances..."
"Sasa utanichukulia na pesa ngapi, mum?" I ask.
The 'mum' is deliberate. They like it. Ok.
She'll make a show of examining the fruits with the precision of a neurosurgeon.....
"Ah, hii size naeza chukua tano na mbao..."
"Tano na mbao, ama tano na mbao mbao...." I ask.
Mama shakes her head like she's spent the morning giving piano lessons to a goat.
"No, my son. Hizo 5 nachukua na 20 bob."
My relationship with Maths is like a Nairobi chic's aversion to a pregnancy - especially in December - but a little won't hurt.
So, each of my paw paw fruit is worth 4 shillings?
My reaction usually depends on other battles I'm fighting, say;
How well is the current relationship going?
If am seeing acceptable levels of dust, I'll say:
"Mum, please go now."
If am undertaking a Character Development degree course at KICD - I'll spit on the ground and growl like my Grandpa.
"If you ever come here again, I'll set the dogs on you..."
Anywho, farming is not for the weak.