Satire- The brave don't drown...the die with water in the lungs...

Mwalimu-G

Elder Lister
6,932 views
A.R. Moxon Profile picture

A.R. Moxon

Twitter logo
6 Jan
, 15 tweets, 3 min read
Bookmark Save as PDF My Authors
Yes, the boat hit the iceberg, but putting the children in lifeboats is the most destructive thing imaginable to their psyche. It's time for us to stop all this evacuation talk and just complete the voyage.
Yes, the first 7 watertight compartments are now flooded with frigid North Sea water, but it's time for us to stop being ruled by our fears and get back to our normally scheduled travel. We MUST open the shuffleboard courts on the lido deck.
Look at children's faces when they're in lifeboats. They're frightened. They're confused. They don't want to be there. Their parents don't want them there. We need to put them back on the boat, whose deck is now pitched at 90 degrees.

It's time to declare this sinking OVER.
Look, I too want to survive this sinking, but I look at how people insist on wearing constrictive life-vests and taking to life boats and I sympathize with those who wants to spend their time drilling holes in the hull. Better to show this ocean we don't fear it than to cower.

Do you know what a full evacuation of this sinking ship will DO to our scheduled arrival time?

The cure can't be worse than the *glub glub glub*
Wow, there is a lot of drowning on both sides of this evacuation issue.
I don’t think people shoving their children into lifeboats understand how cruel they’re being.

Lifeboats are terrifying. They indicate a ship about to sink. What a terrible message to send impressionable children.
We need to trust parents as the true experts. Parents understand exactly how much sea water their child can swallow, and what their child’s core body temperature should be. It isn’t our place to shove our opinions on drowning down their throats.
What you alarmists in your lifeboat bubbles don’t realize is ordinary people don’t care about life jackets or buoyancy or physics, and when you talk about those things you sound out-of-touch.

Lifeboat isn’t real life. Go outside. Touch grass. Or seaweed; whatever’s down there.
If lifeboats work, then why are so many people in lifeboats still getting cold and wet. Answer me that.

The pro-evac crowd needs to improve its messaging.

I might get myocarditis from this fascist lifeboat, so I will choose to die in the ocean rather than risk it.

Remember: I will die *with* seawater in my lungs, not *of* seawater in my lungs.

I oppose measures to put out any rescue calls to nearby ships, when we don’t know the cost, and many survivors with means to pay might ride for free. I don’t want to create a culture of dependency and I fear many of the passengers in steerage will use their rescue to buy drugs.
Don’t call me anti-evac, that is a slur as bad as any that has been used in history.

Soon we will be forced to wear armbands to identify ourselves, like this one that I am wearing right now, which I made and put on myself, while I harass the crew, for trying to help.
These are the questions every evacuee of a sinking ship should be allowed to ask, at length, never moving until they are satisfied, regardless of their ignorance of evacuations or boatmaking, even if they're blocking the lifeboat line for everyone else.



I’ve heard from many critical analogy enthusiasts recently; to them I say:

1) The point isn’t “both types of risk are equal.”The point is “people opposed to necessary disruptions during emergency ignore those most vulnerable, and the fact of the emergency itself.”
 
Last edited:

bigDog

Elder Lister
6,932 views
A.R. Moxon Profile picture

A.R. Moxon

Twitter logo
6 Jan
, 15 tweets, 3 min read
Bookmark Save as PDF My Authors
Yes, the boat hit the iceberg, but putting the children in lifeboats is the most destructive thing imaginable to their psyche. It's time for us to stop all this evacuation talk and just complete the voyage.
Yes, the first 7 watertight compartments are now flooded with frigid North Sea water, but it's time for us to stop being ruled by our fears and get back to our normally scheduled travel. We MUST open the shuffleboard courts on the lido deck.
Look at children's faces when they're in lifeboats. They're frightened. They're confused. They don't want to be there. Their parents don't want them there. We need to put them back on the boat, whose deck is now pitched at 90 degrees.

It's time to declare this sinking OVER.
Look, I too want to survive this sinking, but I look at how people insist on wearing constrictive life-vests and taking to life boats and I sympathize with those who wants to spend their time drilling holes in the hull. Better to show this ocean we don't fear it than to cower.

Do you know what a full evacuation of this sinking ship will DO to our scheduled arrival time?

The cure can't be worse than the *glub glub glub*
Wow, there is a lot of drowning on both sides of this evacuation issue.
I don’t think people shoving their children into lifeboats understand how cruel they’re being.

Lifeboats are terrifying. They indicate a ship about to sink. What a terrible message to send impressionable children.
We need to trust parents as the true experts. Parents understand exactly how much sea water their child can swallow, and what their child’s core body temperature should be. It isn’t our place to shove our opinions on drowning down their throats.
What you alarmists in your lifeboat bubbles don’t realize is ordinary people don’t care about life jackets or buoyancy or physics, and when you talk about those things you sound out-of-touch.

Lifeboat isn’t real life. Go outside. Touch grass. Or seaweed; whatever’s down there.
If lifeboats work, then why are so many people in lifeboats still getting cold and wet. Answer me that.

The pro-evac crowd needs to improve its messaging.

I might get myocarditis from this fascist lifeboat, so I will choose to die in the ocean rather than risk it.

Remember: I will die *with* seawater in my lungs, not *of* seawater in my lungs.

I oppose measures to put out any rescue calls to nearby ships, when we don’t know the cost, and many survivors with means to pay might ride for free. I don’t want to create a culture of dependency and I fear many of the passengers in steerage will use their rescue to buy drugs.
Don’t call me anti-evac, that is a slur as bad as any that has been used in history.

Soon we will be forced to wear armbands to identify ourselves, like this one that I am wearing right now, which I made and put on myself, while I harass the crew, for trying to help.
These are the questions every evacuee of a sinking ship should be allowed to ask, at length, never moving until they are satisfied, regardless of their ignorance of evacuations or boatmaking, even if they're blocking the lifeboat line for everyone else.



I’ve heard from many critical analogy enthusiasts recently; to them I say:

1) The point isn’t “both types of risk are equal.”The point is “people opposed to necessary disruptions during emergency ignore those most vulnerable, and the fact of the emergency itself.”
...and they whine when we point out the idiocy in their ideas. Shitty ideas, I must add.
 

bigDog

Elder Lister
I got the double jab, but let the brave be. It's their lives, let them live it the way they want to.
Except that the disease is contagious. It can spread and kill people that we need to protect.

I have lost friends and colleagues to Covid. All their deaths were preventable. It's evil to convince someone to refuse a covid vax. Akipata ugonjwa akufe, covidiots watasaidika vipi?

Spreading misinformation about covid is morally wrong. We should all point out that it's a shitty idea that hurts people.
 

Clemens

Elder Lister
Except that the disease is contagious. It can spread and kill people that we need to protect.

I have lost friends and colleagues to Covid. All their deaths were preventable. It's evil to convince someone to refuse a covid vax. Akipata ugonjwa akufe, covidiots watasaidika vipi?

Spreading misinformation about covid is morally wrong. We should all point out that it's a shitty idea that hurts people.
Sadly they won't see your line of thought, just protect yourself and live your life, there is no point getting annoyed with things you have no control over.
 

bigDog

Elder Lister
Sadly they won't see your line of thought, just protect yourself and live your life, there is no point getting annoyed with things you have no control over.
He he. Sina makasiriko sana chief. Ni kidogo Tu, for ensuring that I point out lies and misinformation. A buddy died because he believed that nonsense and refused to take the jab. Akapata covid akakufa. I wish I knew that he had refused the jab. I would have convinced him it's less dangerous than covid.
 
Top