It's Me Scumbag
Elder Lister
@Kasaman this is for you.
In my rather short life,I have engaged in a lot of businesses in chase of the elusive shilling.
From exam papers for primary schools and faux title deeds to buying and using illegal Kenya money.
In one of my lives chasing the hard to find shilling,I ran the now three bed and breakfast establishments (popularly known as Airbnb) in the Kilimani area of the city of Nairobi.
Business was good until COVID hit. Being the person I am,I counted my losses and moved on to something else.
Now,in the process of hosting visitors,Kenyan and foreign,weird requests are a norm. And most of them would come from male foreigners. The question was almost standard. Being in the valley arcade area,they guys would ask,'where can one have fun in the area?' That was before quickmart valley road came up. Inevitably,I directed them to the few bars and restaurants in Valley Arcade that was within walking distance.
But there was another group that asked a specific question: where they can get night nurses. The nearest hospital where we could get nurses from was in Kawangware and I was not going to take my guests to Kawangware. This is is where Nairobi Raha came in handy. Day and night nurses available at any time and offering home service.
One day,I got a group of 4 Nigerians who said they needed to get rid of jet lag and I obliged. Called my plug and was informed four nurses were on the way. But as sometimes fate has it,they got late and my horny Naija boys got impatient. So I directed them to Nairobi Raha and the got into contact with some other jetlag busters.
Then the gods played a bad one on the Naija men. All the 8 women showed up at the same time. The same god's also played me a good one since I had left when all that happened but my caretaker had a hard time sorting out who go get the nuts and who go back home unscrewed.
Eventually a compromise was reached and Naija guys given a choice - an orgy or they sleep with their jet lag intact.
By morning when I showed up,I found the ladies leaving and a complain from the neighbours to the building managers about the kind of biz I was running. Money always has a way of smoothing thing out and things were smoothed out and everyone got happy...except the neighbours!
Then there was the girls from Ghana,who wanted the company of Kenyan men. And the two Ssebo men who wanted 4 girls. There was the guy who used to show up once a month,from Mombasa,to screw a different chick every time. Or the 'up and coming Kenyan Musician' who love boys but had a handful of girls around him all the time.
There was also the straight like an arrow guests who just wanted to do take care of their biz in Nairobi and be gone. Like the muzungu guy who took the entire apartment and even imported his own maid(a mature lady from Kiambu), didn't even want any of us around. Saw him only on check in day and on check out day a month later.
The characters I met were a lesson in weird desires and needs.
@Kasaman sitaki maswali.
In my rather short life,I have engaged in a lot of businesses in chase of the elusive shilling.
From exam papers for primary schools and faux title deeds to buying and using illegal Kenya money.
In one of my lives chasing the hard to find shilling,I ran the now three bed and breakfast establishments (popularly known as Airbnb) in the Kilimani area of the city of Nairobi.
Business was good until COVID hit. Being the person I am,I counted my losses and moved on to something else.
Now,in the process of hosting visitors,Kenyan and foreign,weird requests are a norm. And most of them would come from male foreigners. The question was almost standard. Being in the valley arcade area,they guys would ask,'where can one have fun in the area?' That was before quickmart valley road came up. Inevitably,I directed them to the few bars and restaurants in Valley Arcade that was within walking distance.
But there was another group that asked a specific question: where they can get night nurses. The nearest hospital where we could get nurses from was in Kawangware and I was not going to take my guests to Kawangware. This is is where Nairobi Raha came in handy. Day and night nurses available at any time and offering home service.
One day,I got a group of 4 Nigerians who said they needed to get rid of jet lag and I obliged. Called my plug and was informed four nurses were on the way. But as sometimes fate has it,they got late and my horny Naija boys got impatient. So I directed them to Nairobi Raha and the got into contact with some other jetlag busters.
Then the gods played a bad one on the Naija men. All the 8 women showed up at the same time. The same god's also played me a good one since I had left when all that happened but my caretaker had a hard time sorting out who go get the nuts and who go back home unscrewed.
Eventually a compromise was reached and Naija guys given a choice - an orgy or they sleep with their jet lag intact.
By morning when I showed up,I found the ladies leaving and a complain from the neighbours to the building managers about the kind of biz I was running. Money always has a way of smoothing thing out and things were smoothed out and everyone got happy...except the neighbours!
Then there was the girls from Ghana,who wanted the company of Kenyan men. And the two Ssebo men who wanted 4 girls. There was the guy who used to show up once a month,from Mombasa,to screw a different chick every time. Or the 'up and coming Kenyan Musician' who love boys but had a handful of girls around him all the time.
There was also the straight like an arrow guests who just wanted to do take care of their biz in Nairobi and be gone. Like the muzungu guy who took the entire apartment and even imported his own maid(a mature lady from Kiambu), didn't even want any of us around. Saw him only on check in day and on check out day a month later.
The characters I met were a lesson in weird desires and needs.
@Kasaman sitaki maswali.
