This story might doxx me but here we go.So nilienda hapo Kilimani kutembelea ma morio wangu wawili wametoka majuu (summer bunnies). Walikuwa wamechukua Airbnb in a very posh apartment. So on this Saturday night wameniita twende out. They were not mobile so nikakuja na jallopy yangu. Tukaenda Club inajiita Gemini hapo Westy. Not sure if i got the name right as i was already tipsy tukifika hiyo club. So we started drinking while definitely looking for girls to chipo. Personally i can smell a lanye from a distance. Kwa meza moja kulikuwa na madem wawili wanakunywa chupa pole pole.(one light skin girl who claimed to be halfcast of kenyan n ethiopian and some slim Kamba lady with macho kengeza). I could tell walikuwa wanakunywa polepole wakipiga seti. But in those places unaweza angukia mali safi. So i asked them if they could join me and my two friends. Wakakubali. Tukashika mzinga na kuanza kufinya. So am the only one bila dem. The vibe is good. After a while nikapata dem huko ndani but i was 100% sure ni lanye so i pretended like sijui ni lanye. Tukaanza kukata maji na kupiga sherehe. Sema kusuguliwa na huyu dem....waaah. anyways ikafika time we needed to go back. My girl akaniuliza napangaje....nikamshow twende after party hapo Kilimani. Dem akasema sawa but nitatoboka mangapi. Nikajifanya kushangaa but nikamuuliza anatakaje.....akasema 10k....nikacheka nikamshow sijawai lipia nyap hiyo bei considering it was already like 3am. I offered her our village price of ks150 per shot with a promise of 7 shots minimum....akanitusi kama umbwa na akaenda. So we left.....i was driving my two buddies and their two girls. Me najua wameangukia mali safi. Tukafika Kile....watched afew music videos on YouTube as we got drunk some more. Kidogo kidogo one after the other kila jamaa akabeba dem wake kwenda kwa room. Nikabaki kwa sitting room kwa couch solo. I was kinda jealous of those guys. In one of the room nasikia wanaongea tu as if they are in disagreement. Kidogo dem akatoka kwa room ya one of the guys and came sat with me kwa couch. This was the Ethiopian. Amefura kama fakin. Nikamuuliza what is the problem. Akasema they had a disagreement with my buddy coz she asked my buddy what he was gonna appreciate her with in the morning. Ninja aliruka akauliza dem si tuliwanunulia all you could drink and all you could eat ndio tukuje tu have a good time. Dame akashow jamaa that is not how it works. Jamaa akashow dem she is free to leave (ati aume frame ya mlango). So niko hapo trying to be a captain save a hoe......30mins later her macho kengeza kamba friend comes from the other room. Ati jamaa anataka kula vitu free...guy kicks her out. Na majamaa hawakutoka kwa room....so am stuck with two lanyes in the sitting room. Nikawaambia pole manze so mnatakaje. Wakasema the two dudes are asssholes and they have wasted their time while wangepata wasee serious. Wakasema hawana hata fare so if i could drop them back to the Club wajaribu bahati yao. Nikajua lazima nicheze kama mimi. On our way back walikuwa wanasema ma asante mob coz am a nice guy na mungu ataniinua pia mimi nipate pesa. 
....kumbe wajamaa walisema mimi ni dere wao but the chics never thought i own the car. They thought me ni dere wa kuchorwa. I played along the tune to my advantage. So tukafika kwa under ground parking nikauliza the sweet Ethiopian kama anaweza nitolea form ya haraka haraka. They started laughing but dem akasema since nimejitolea kuwarudisha kwa club and i was nice through out the night....nimshow natakaje. Nikamshow anadai aje. Akasema at that point shes stuck...its 6am na club most likely ni kufungwa inafungwa na hata fare hawana. Nikamshow me nataka shot ya haraka haraka. She asked kama niko na 2k. Nikamshow sasa dere atatoa wapi 2k ya shot. Akajaribu ati 1k me nikamshow niko na ksh500 mbele nyuma. I expected her to decline but next anauliza kama niko na CD..... "unauliza?!!!!". Her friend jumps in the front sit and we jump in the back sit. Tuko kwa basement parking garage. The pudesh was somehow tight n wet. As i smashed the Ethiopian.....her buddy in the front sit was giggling and saying shes getting horny too....too bad after kumwaga singechangamkia beshte yake. Thats how i ate half Ethiopian chille. Went back to my buddies. Morning wananishow ati madem hawakuwashow wanataka doh before watoke kwa club na vile walifika bedroom each wanted 10k to smash. Wakasema zii. I know them....they rarely do lanyez. Me nikawashow how i ate one of them at a throw away price. Walicheka kama fakin. Ukinijua who i am through this story wewe ni ghaseer.
....kumbe wajamaa walisema mimi ni dere wao but the chics never thought i own the car. They thought me ni dere wa kuchorwa. I played along the tune to my advantage. So tukafika kwa under ground parking nikauliza the sweet Ethiopian kama anaweza nitolea form ya haraka haraka. They started laughing but dem akasema since nimejitolea kuwarudisha kwa club and i was nice through out the night....nimshow natakaje. Nikamshow anadai aje. Akasema at that point shes stuck...its 6am na club most likely ni kufungwa inafungwa na hata fare hawana. Nikamshow me nataka shot ya haraka haraka. She asked kama niko na 2k. Nikamshow sasa dere atatoa wapi 2k ya shot. Akajaribu ati 1k me nikamshow niko na ksh500 mbele nyuma. I expected her to decline but next anauliza kama niko na CD..... "unauliza?!!!!". Her friend jumps in the front sit and we jump in the back sit. Tuko kwa basement parking garage. The pudesh was somehow tight n wet. As i smashed the Ethiopian.....her buddy in the front sit was giggling and saying shes getting horny too....too bad after kumwaga singechangamkia beshte yake. Thats how i ate half Ethiopian chille. Went back to my buddies. Morning wananishow ati madem hawakuwashow wanataka doh before watoke kwa club na vile walifika bedroom each wanted 10k to smash. Wakasema zii. I know them....they rarely do lanyez. Me nikawashow how i ate one of them at a throw away price. Walicheka kama fakin. Ukinijua who i am through this story wewe ni ghaseer.