What are some street smart tips for surviving in Nairobi that could potentially help you one day?

[AU5]

Share some tips that you know, eg how to avoid being mugged in tao, how not to lose your phone, How to avoid being arrested, some dangerous areas to avoid, where to buy cheap stuff. Just general life hacks that help you to survive


For example, Don't use your phone when around Muthurwa or Globe to Ngara area when in a matatu or personal car

 

[Okiya]

If you have a Toyota or Nissan, avoid Mombasa Road area at makaburini/Railways golf between 7pm and 9pm. Wakora huwa hapo ready to harvest your wheel caps and side mirrors when traffic builds

 

[It's Me Scumbag]

While on Luthuli,avoid pasdinh through those groups of men you see hanging on the street seemingly doing nothing. Proffessional pickpockets...

I do not know how to explain this...avoid backstreets.

 

[Ole Waru]

If you want to make a call and you are uncomfortable ingia supermarket

 

[Duke of Busia]

When in those fast foods tip the guy who serves fries uone avalanche ya chipo

 

[RANDY $]

1.Walk with purpose...... otherwise you will attract all manner of criminals
2.Dont shake hands with strangers pretending to ask for directions.
3.Avoid back alleys.
4. Avoid crowds like a plague.

 

[Penologist]

When you see a group of people running towards you,enter the nearest shop.

Don't turn back when you hear a whistle aka binja aka tsss tsss tsss

Don't go looking or marvelling at houses,that's a trick of a new be

Always be composed even when crossing the road

Treat everyone with suspicion including grannies and children

Avoid short cuts aka back lanes especially if you are alone

Familiarize yourself with bylaws,eg sitting or stepping on pots is a kanjo crime

If you are suspicious of being trailed,enter a supermarket,a mall and alert security OR SACCO TERMINUS OFFICES

For directions ask ONLY SOLJAS IN UNIFORM

WHILE WITNESSING AN ARREST AKA MSAKO,IF THEY ARENT NEAR YOU DONT MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS,MAKE AN ABOUT TURN AND RUN,NILIJIPELEKA KWA GARI HIVI NILITOKEA PANGANI

If you are going downtown mind your dressing,

Always be carrying something thatcan be of help eg a tester,a nail cutter

Finally KULA NDIMU ALWAYS WHILE IN PUBLIC yaani wear that mean face always

 

[The.Black.Templar]

Always do things on purpose and never second guess yourself, kama umepotea jifanye bado unajua ni wapi unaenda then do a fuaken turn around like nobodies business.

Always have a response ready in your head incase usimamishwe na watu ovyo ovyo, e.g. mimi ni mgeni pia nairobi, or uliza yule askari.

Weka sura ya kazi ukiwa kwa streets.

 

[Clemens]

Just lift weights and have huge muscles, the pickpocket, petty thieves and snatchers watakuita mzito Kwa heshima, and PS: don't smile at anyone the meaner your Face looks the wider berth everyone will give you.

 

[Encore]

Ignore this people or items..si at una maringo but for your own safety;
-Anyone approaching you with a phone to purchase
-Anyone who greets you and isn't familiar ..pretend he doesn't exist
-Money on the ground
-Anyone who drops an item or falls down just pass them no matter how old she is
-Anyone asking for help to call someone with your phone no matter how desperate or old he or she is
-if a real sexy woman approach you and ask if you have a safaricom line and a wierd looking van packed nearby ..Run!!
-if you are surrounded by funny looking characters who want to mug you as you walk in town and can't reach the nearest shop in time stand in the middle of the road and block traffic the hoots will scare them
-anyone especially ladies approach you and tell you to join their Network business that made them rich avoid Kula lunch Yao na ukimbie msituni
-Don't put all your money in your wallet
-avoid alleys
-if you must use your phone in the car ensure windows are closed if in a matatu lean on the closed window

 

[Ubongo]

Wale vijana walikuwa wanabeba shode kustua bado wako

 

[Pseudonyms]

For directions ask ONLY SOLJAS IN UNIFORM

Utapotea ushangae. Hao soja wote hawajuangi hio building next huitwaje.

 

[AU5]

Ignore this people or items..si at una maringo but for your own safety;
-Anyone approaching you with a phone to purchase
-Anyone who greets you and isn't familiar ..pretend he doesn't exist
-Money on the ground
-Anyone who drops an item or falls down just pass them no matter how old she is
-Anyone asking for help to call someone with your phone no matter how desperate or old he or she is
-if a real sexy woman approach you and ask if you have a safaricom line and a wierd looking van packed nearby ..Run!!
-if you are surrounded by funny looking characters who want to mug you as you walk in town and can't reach the nearest shop in time stand in the middle of the road and block traffic the hoots will scare them
-anyone especially ladies approach you and tell you to join their Network business that made them rich avoid Kula lunch Yao na ukimbie msituni
-Don't put all your money in your wallet
-avoid alleys
-if you must use your phone in the car ensure windows are closed if in a matatu lean on the closed window

correction hapa kwa using phone in your car, Ensure the doors are locked and cannot be opened from outside

 

[DeepInYourMind]

The one to rule them all, avoid being in the cbd in the first place, unless it's absolutely necessary

 

[kijanamrefu]

Hehehe. And we call this life in Nairobi. Sounds like survival tips for a zombie apocalypse or a mass prison somewhere in South America

 

[DeepInYourMind]

Hehehe. And we call this life in Nairobi. Sounds like survival tips for a zombie apocalypse or a mass prison somewhere in South America

hata Nuu york Cirry unaeza jipata kona mbaya in a gang shootout

 

[Ngimanene na Muchere]

Just be brave

 

[RANDY $]

Wale vijana walikuwa wanabeba shode kustua bado wako

kuna mwingine alikua amezoea kuhanda wasee apo ronald ngala karibu na tuskys ......kuna siku alihanda msee nisakia ameambiwa paka uone ..... long story short nikama wasee wakilikuwa wamemtegea apigwa vita ingine haijuani.

 

[Kdawg254]

I knew this thread will be full of stereotypes,innuendos and outright lies about downtown Nairobi.
Wonder when some of you were last there?
Sisi tunashinda huko daily,morning to evening and we don’t see any of those things majority are referring to!

 

[Jobi4]

Just be very confident and brave, that's all. Hizi zingine ni hekaya.