Kabuda
Elder Lister
Now if one good thing has cum out of the Corona virus lockdown, and if somehow we survive the 'second wave' and live to tell the tale; we shall fondly remember the best thing that has cum out of it.
The time to reflect and reconnect with our loved ones.
It's been the biggest blessing in disguise as far as I'm concerned and I wouldn't change it for anything!
Two of my babymommas were reduced to working from home and the other was stuck in Kenya the whole time.
(She's a right cow so just as well...)
I thought I had got over them romantically and honestly,I was just beginning to think that this was my life..; a single grumpy middle aged gizzer living on his own humping the occasional desperate woman that came my way whenever they did while trying hard to get involved in his children's lives against having to put up with their mummies' drama.
But the Virus had other ideas for me.
See, lockdown quickly exposed to me that as much as my two babymommas had been flaunting about acting like they had moved on and were all in new relationships, kumbe they were just desperate 'singo mathaz' working flat out to single handedly raise my children on their own.
Loneliness ulaya is bad enough without a lockdown and try working from home when you have a kid or two bored out their minds seeking your attention 24\7!...
So it didn't take any amount of persuasion to get them to allow me full access to the kids again.
Lakini soon enough I realized that they were looking for more than help with the kids.
These women were also desperately seeking to have a conversation, some emotional outlet, a shoulder to cry on and not to mention 'mboro' support!!!!!....
So what's a man to do?!...
Now I'm not a vindictive,cold hearted human being but my natural instincts got the better of me.
I had no intention of doing it, but I found myself taking a closer look at the characters of these two women with the unconscious view of choosing one of them because they had at this stage made it obvious that they were ready to welcome me back into their lives on a long term basis.
I am embarrassed to say that I was now playing them against each other and they knew that I was sleeping with both of them.
I would have one with the kids over to my place for a week and the other the following week.
So they got into this unconscious competition.
And I have to say it brought out the best in them. The very qualities that had made me fall for them in the first place.
There is the clean obsessed one that would walk in to the house after the other had stayed with me and she would change the beddings, do a deep clean up especially in the bathroom and kitchen, dust and hoover every inch of the house and cook me while all the time swearing and cursing out the other and criticising her.
She would seek my reassurance on whether I slept with the other and I would deny it although we both knew that I was lying.
The following week I would have the Kenyan one round for a week.
She is from 'ubabini' and she can't clean or cook ni wale wamekua wakifanyiwa kila kitu na mboch.
She will easily sleep in the Same beddings for two weeks and I have to clean the dishes to motivate her to cook 'mashakura' type of food fit only for stray dogs.
But she is book smart.
She did my tax returns of two years in a day, updated my computer,my accounts and finances and she even helped me reclaim my tax refund. She can home school effortlessly and had even started homeschooling my kids from the other woman. Things that I am totally useless at doing.
But cleanliness and a tidy house are so important to me.
And that's where I am now.
I'm not about to let any of these women go any time soon because I have realized just how important they are in my life.
A friend of mine from way back when has set the trend by being the first man to marry and cohabit with two women!
He had a simple preposition the day they knew about each other.
He simply said to them : " Nawapenda Sawa nyinyi wawili na hakuna ule nafukuza. Lakini Yule hawezi kaa na Yule mwingine hapa kwangu atoke saahii!" .. (it sounds even harsher when said in a deep Kikuyu accent! Kikikikkkk!.....)
But they both chose to stay and they are now cohabiting happily ever after!..
I have weighed my options and I think that I am now in the same predicament.
These are the signs of the times.
The chickens are cumming home to roost for all the feminist bolloxology that has been going on for too long!
In no culture or religion since time immemorial has a man been restricted to marriyng one woman.
Monogamy is just a Capitalist ideology that has been proven unworkable.
Not one man mentioned in the Bible had only one woman.
Now I just need to grow the balls to read the riot act on these two women that I love so dearly.
I want to be like my friend Mbuthia. His wives even introduce themselves at parties ati..'uyu ni my husband witu'..
Kikikikkkk...
And I have to do it before the second wave kicks in.
Every man needs at least two women in his life.
Wish me luck Listers.
The time to reflect and reconnect with our loved ones.
It's been the biggest blessing in disguise as far as I'm concerned and I wouldn't change it for anything!
Two of my babymommas were reduced to working from home and the other was stuck in Kenya the whole time.
(She's a right cow so just as well...)
I thought I had got over them romantically and honestly,I was just beginning to think that this was my life..; a single grumpy middle aged gizzer living on his own humping the occasional desperate woman that came my way whenever they did while trying hard to get involved in his children's lives against having to put up with their mummies' drama.
But the Virus had other ideas for me.
See, lockdown quickly exposed to me that as much as my two babymommas had been flaunting about acting like they had moved on and were all in new relationships, kumbe they were just desperate 'singo mathaz' working flat out to single handedly raise my children on their own.
Loneliness ulaya is bad enough without a lockdown and try working from home when you have a kid or two bored out their minds seeking your attention 24\7!...
So it didn't take any amount of persuasion to get them to allow me full access to the kids again.
Lakini soon enough I realized that they were looking for more than help with the kids.
These women were also desperately seeking to have a conversation, some emotional outlet, a shoulder to cry on and not to mention 'mboro' support!!!!!....
So what's a man to do?!...
Now I'm not a vindictive,cold hearted human being but my natural instincts got the better of me.
I had no intention of doing it, but I found myself taking a closer look at the characters of these two women with the unconscious view of choosing one of them because they had at this stage made it obvious that they were ready to welcome me back into their lives on a long term basis.
I am embarrassed to say that I was now playing them against each other and they knew that I was sleeping with both of them.
I would have one with the kids over to my place for a week and the other the following week.
So they got into this unconscious competition.
And I have to say it brought out the best in them. The very qualities that had made me fall for them in the first place.
There is the clean obsessed one that would walk in to the house after the other had stayed with me and she would change the beddings, do a deep clean up especially in the bathroom and kitchen, dust and hoover every inch of the house and cook me while all the time swearing and cursing out the other and criticising her.
She would seek my reassurance on whether I slept with the other and I would deny it although we both knew that I was lying.
The following week I would have the Kenyan one round for a week.
She is from 'ubabini' and she can't clean or cook ni wale wamekua wakifanyiwa kila kitu na mboch.
She will easily sleep in the Same beddings for two weeks and I have to clean the dishes to motivate her to cook 'mashakura' type of food fit only for stray dogs.
But she is book smart.
She did my tax returns of two years in a day, updated my computer,my accounts and finances and she even helped me reclaim my tax refund. She can home school effortlessly and had even started homeschooling my kids from the other woman. Things that I am totally useless at doing.
But cleanliness and a tidy house are so important to me.
And that's where I am now.
I'm not about to let any of these women go any time soon because I have realized just how important they are in my life.
A friend of mine from way back when has set the trend by being the first man to marry and cohabit with two women!
He had a simple preposition the day they knew about each other.
He simply said to them : " Nawapenda Sawa nyinyi wawili na hakuna ule nafukuza. Lakini Yule hawezi kaa na Yule mwingine hapa kwangu atoke saahii!" .. (it sounds even harsher when said in a deep Kikuyu accent! Kikikikkkk!.....)
But they both chose to stay and they are now cohabiting happily ever after!..
I have weighed my options and I think that I am now in the same predicament.
These are the signs of the times.
The chickens are cumming home to roost for all the feminist bolloxology that has been going on for too long!
In no culture or religion since time immemorial has a man been restricted to marriyng one woman.
Monogamy is just a Capitalist ideology that has been proven unworkable.
Not one man mentioned in the Bible had only one woman.
Now I just need to grow the balls to read the riot act on these two women that I love so dearly.
I want to be like my friend Mbuthia. His wives even introduce themselves at parties ati..'uyu ni my husband witu'..
Kikikikkkk...
And I have to do it before the second wave kicks in.
Every man needs at least two women in his life.
Wish me luck Listers.
