Field Marshal
Elder Lister
So a few months ago, my Ndeiya cousin ferked his wife's cousin and made her pregnant. The woman aborted.
The wife - a sumptous, earthy, village damsel - came to learn of it and took off to her folks.
I've been trying to play mediator for the last two weeks to no avail.
Today, in total contravention of Gikuyu norms (uthoni ndurangarangagwo - You don't go to you in-laws ovyo ovyo) I visited the wife's home but stayed in the car at the gate. It was 7.10 am. I was as high as a kite on steroids from a whole night binging on WhiteKAPS (sometimes its necessary).
I had had a brilliant idea in the wee hours of the morning. Beer often has that effect on me.
When she entered the armoured Wingroad, I gently placed my hand on her thigh and felt her primordial warmth through the lesso. She had just woken up, I could tell.
"Mama Chiku, your husband did something that was unforgivable, I agree. But to draw a line on the sand on this matter let's do this - you sleep with his cousin too and call it a draw. Nimejitolea kufa kupona to be that cousin. I don't want your home to break., and I am the only one mad enough to do this".
Lady was so shocked she just sat there staring at me for 16 and a half minutes. All the while I was gently rubbing her thigh, like a loving cousin should.
After what seemed like an hour she replied.
"I'll think about it. Call me tomorrow".
Now that I am totally sober sijui kama nilikosea ama nini....................and worse, akikubali nitawezana?
Stress inaanza kuingia.........................
The wife - a sumptous, earthy, village damsel - came to learn of it and took off to her folks.
I've been trying to play mediator for the last two weeks to no avail.
Today, in total contravention of Gikuyu norms (uthoni ndurangarangagwo - You don't go to you in-laws ovyo ovyo) I visited the wife's home but stayed in the car at the gate. It was 7.10 am. I was as high as a kite on steroids from a whole night binging on WhiteKAPS (sometimes its necessary).
I had had a brilliant idea in the wee hours of the morning. Beer often has that effect on me.
When she entered the armoured Wingroad, I gently placed my hand on her thigh and felt her primordial warmth through the lesso. She had just woken up, I could tell.
"Mama Chiku, your husband did something that was unforgivable, I agree. But to draw a line on the sand on this matter let's do this - you sleep with his cousin too and call it a draw. Nimejitolea kufa kupona to be that cousin. I don't want your home to break., and I am the only one mad enough to do this".
Lady was so shocked she just sat there staring at me for 16 and a half minutes. All the while I was gently rubbing her thigh, like a loving cousin should.
After what seemed like an hour she replied.
"I'll think about it. Call me tomorrow".
Now that I am totally sober sijui kama nilikosea ama nini....................and worse, akikubali nitawezana?
Stress inaanza kuingia.........................
