Mixed confused feelings

[Dranya]

Vipi Wadau,

In a catch 22 with how things have transpired hizi ma few days. One of my colleague / friend lost his wife during birth.

We are not that close with him but wife is very close to him, kizungumkuti ni the burial was today and wife ni kama alisahau na mimi I was on the dark all along.

I feel like I have let him down by not being there for him and also as a family we did not represent ourselves as we should have.

How can you show that you were / are with him in these trying moments after all these?

 

[Ole Waru]

People normally think that the most important thing is being present at the funeral, no it's not. Even after the funeral the hurting doesn't stop, so you can just be present right now and in the future, better late than never

 

[Ole Waru]

check up on him regularly, us men don't like talking about our feelings, encourage him to talk.

 

[mzeiya]

Wisdom kabisa from @Ole Waru. Many help during matanga and burial and then leave. Just be there. Pole sana kwake

 

[Kasaman]

He need you now more than before ,walk with him now and reassure him all will be ok.

 

[Pamba 1]

On the opposite mimi nikipata msiba sitaki watu karibu wa kuleta comfort, life must continue and offering empathy will be the last thing I need.

 

[Denis Young]

On the opposite mimi nikipata msiba sitaki watu karibu wa kuleta comfort, life must continue and offering empathy will be the last thing I need.

I totally relate. I actually get offended when people try showing empathy. Maybe I am not in touch with my emotions which is something I seemingly struggle with according to the people who know me.

 

[It's Me Scumbag]

When everything is said and done,that's when grief hits people. When everyone has left,be there for him. He will appreciate your presence more.

 

[Mwalimu-G]

On the opposite mimi nikipata msiba sitaki watu karibu wa kuleta comfort, life must continue and offering empathy will be the last thing I need.

Everyone needs empathy Afande.

 

[Ole Waru]

Everyone needs empathy Afande.

That's why his kind kill themselves every day due to pent up feelings, they pretend they are too strong to be emotional

 

[Afro]

Vipi Wadau,

In a catch 22 with how things have transpired hizi ma few days. One of my colleague / friend lost his wife during birth.

We are not that close with him but wife is very close to him, kizungumkuti ni the burial was today and wife ni kama alisahau na mimi I was on the dark all along.

I feel like I have let him down by not being there for him and also as a family we did not represent ourselves as we should have.

How can you show that you were / are with him in these trying moments after all these?

Text him on random occasions kumjulia hali without necessarily expecting much of a response. Memorise the date the wife died, so that you can console him every morning of that date since he will always be very sad. And if utakua available,offer to take him to his wife's grave next year on that date if he will be going to place flowers.