AOB 3st September 2020

Mwalimu-G

Mwalimu-G

Elder Lister
Those who know know...

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One important question that has always bothered my mind is, could the lack of personal space be a contributing factor to the many public and private divorces we are witnessing in our society today? Is it natural for a man and a woman to occupy a common micro-space for extended durations or have we been trying to impose an alien model to the human species?

My inquiry has been prompted by a number of observations. For example, it is evident that many couples are technically separated by still living together because of outside forces such as fear for society ridicule, children’s wellbeing, and religious pressure. Often, such couples will engage in all sorts of defiant deeds (such as infidelity) to vent out frustrations. Another important observation I have made is that many of the men who spend hours in bars are actually domestic refugees trying to stay away from their wives as long as possible. I once used to wonder why some men go into panic mode whenever the car develops problems but I later came to deduce that for such men, the car is their only personal space and their only means to some form of freedom.

And that leads me to my final question, what was the marriage set-up like in the traditional African society and how would the divorce rates compare with today? In the traditional society, as far as my knowledge goes, the man of the homestead occupied a separate room from that of the wife and the kids. It is possible that this arrangement prevented the many minor conflicts that arise when two individuals occupy a common micro-space, and which often escalate to gigantic proportions, sometimes leading to divorce. Maybe this model is more natural to human beings compared to the present situation in which a couple will share the same small space for months and years.
 
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