This is Guka - This is What The Oracle of Ndeiya Said Two Years Ago. Ignore the Oracle at Your Own Risk...

[Field Marshal]

FieldMarshal CouchP
FieldMarshal CouchP
Village Sponsor
May 27, 2019#24

Putting your retirement benefits into outfits like Cytonn is a sure bet kulilia kwa choo. These are firms run by individuals that can collapse the following day. Best bets?

1. Treasury bills/bonds.
2. Fixed deposit account.
3. Blue chip stocks.

If I was retiring and had sh3m I would put Sh1.5 million in gavament securities, Sh1 million in blue chips stocks (EABL, Safaricom and BAT, for example), Sh300,000 into farming even things like sukuma wiki and cabbages and one dairy cow, and Sh200,000 into WhiteKAP and other fun.

I would be set up for life (I am assuming mzee ameretire at 60, amejenga and has no young dependants). From this mix utapata something like Sh30K a month which is very decent kama uko hapa Limuru. Ukiongeza pension, baaaaaaaaas! Kazi ni kumumunya WhiteKAP pole pole..............
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Somebody please put the actual screens hot kutoka huko kwa MCAs...

 

[It's Me Scumbag]

@Abba (siku hizi yeye anaitw Busaa Catalystica) had warned about Cytton back in '18.

NSE Drought

It has been about 2 years since a company listed on NSE. Guys why do you think Kenyan businesses people don't like listing their companies? if it is about costs, the GEMS segment was supposed to provide a less rigorous system for listing. If you argue that it is because Kenyans like to hide ill...

www.kenyatalk.com

 

[Ramses]

Your fellow bushmates wameingia Arboretum na pesa za watu.....
On a serious note with less than 3M nothing beats a simple buroti of 10 onebedrooms and 10 bedsitters in Githurai..... Atleast 70k net after taxes and maintenance which you can play around with as you want. Caveat... You already own the plot of land as a potential slumlord.
Mambo ya stocks, bonds and other sophisticated/highrisk investment plans does not work in Kenya

 

[Denis Young]

Your fellow bushmates wameingia Arboretum na pesa za watu.....
On a serious note with less than 3M nothing beats a simple buroti of 10 onebedrooms and 10 bedsitters in Githurai..... Atleast 70k net after taxes and maintenance which you can play around with as you want. Caveat... You already own the plot of land as a potential slumlord.
Mambo ya stocks, bonds and other sophisticated/highrisk investment plans does not work in Kenya

I don't know the dynamic around rentals but I agree on the matter of stocks and bonds. You are not making anything significant with 1.5M on 8% APR even if you compound.

Personally, I would take that money and buy two demio's or Honda's and resell them netting anywhere between 80k to 100k profit of you work with a car yard. That is your annual APR right there. It might take a couple of months to sell but they will leave the yard eventually.

 

[Cortedivoire]

Pesa ya paybill ungeinvest

 

[Ramiran]

The most lucrative investment with 3M in .ke is to use it to get a GOK tender worth mirrions and PAP ! Your set for life.

 

[kingolonde]

I cashed out my insurance policy which I had taken for purposes of educating my kid
Added something small, and invested it in CBK IFB at 12.67% non taxable
By the time she joins high school, there will be more than enough fees for her, and when my bond matures i get my money back!
Slow, but sure and rewarding.
Hii upus nyengine ya cytonn gwacheni

 

[Ubongo]

I cashed out my insurance policy which I had taken for purposes of educating my kid
Added something small, and invested it in CBK IFB at 12.67% non taxable
By the time she joins high school, there will be more than enough fees for her, and when my bond matures i get my money back!
Slow, but sure and rewarding.
Hii upus nyengine ya cytonn gwacheni

Ukisehabu mahesabu za insurances.... most huwa tu scum.

 

[kingolonde]

Ukisehabu mahesabu za insurances.... most huwa tu scum.

That's what I more or less realized, not to mention the possibility of the company going under

 

[Field Marshal]

@Abba (siku hizi yeye anaitw Busaa Catalystica) had warned about Cytton back in '18.

NSE Drought

It has been about 2 years since a company listed on NSE. Guys why do you think Kenyan businesses people don't like listing their companies? if it is about costs, the GEMS segment was supposed to provide a less rigorous system for listing. If you argue that it is because Kenyans like to hide ill...

www.kenyatalk.com

Nyani wewe. Are you trying to rain on my parade?

Leo nitaweka ile kitu bro. Tatu will be good.

 

[Field Marshal]

Your fellow bushmates wameingia Arboretum na pesa za watu.....
On a serious note with less than 3M nothing beats a simple buroti of 10 onebedrooms and 10 bedsitters in Githurai..... Atleast 70k net after taxes and maintenance which you can play around with as you want. Caveat... You already own the plot of land as a potential slumlord.
Mambo ya stocks, bonds and other sophisticated/highrisk investment plans does not work in Kenya

Maze Bushmen are emerging to be just another bunch of (sophisticated, well-educated) swindlers bana. Very sad for people who were supposed to be 'strong to serve'. From Ngunze at KQ to these mohines. Rev Welch must be turning in his grave pale AHS.

Afadhali hata The Oracle of Ndeiya who begs for is upkeep...........niweke?

 

[Field Marshal]

I don't know the dynamic around rentals but I agree on the matter of stocks and bonds. You are not making anything significant with 1.5M on 8% APR even if you compound.

Personally, I would take that money and buy two demio's or Honda's and resell them netting anywhere between 80k to 100k profit of you work with a car yard. That is your annual APR right there. It might take a couple of months to sell but they will leave the yard eventually. about

Boss, you are thinking like the kid you are. Unataka nianze hustle ya kuuza gari nikiwa 65? Are you mad? A man that age will be conned that money by 8am.

What such a man needs is a stable, small income for the rest of his life. Government bonds assure you of a 12% return payable every six months. Ukiweka Sh1.5m like I stated in 2019 unapata about 90K every 6 months FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITH NO HUSTLE.

 

[Field Marshal]

I cashed out my insurance policy which I had taken for purposes of educating my kid
Added something small, and invested it in CBK IFB at 12.67% non taxable
By the time she joins high school, there will be more than enough fees for her, and when my bond matures i get my money back!
Slow, but sure and rewarding.
Hii upus nyengine ya cytonn gwacheni

Brilliant. Wacha hawa akina brown-skin types waendelee na ujinga wao. The smartest money people are bankers. You think the invest billlions n gavament bonds because they are stupid?

 

[Field Marshal]

That's what I more or less realized, not to mention the possibility of the company going under

Wacha going under. Piga pothole ushindwe na kulipa a few instalments uone penalties utapigwa...................