The life of a Noah driver

Meria

Elder Lister
Staff member
Have come across a great hekaya and had to share
.
So Im in town,it's one of those good Fridays,it's morning and Im at the NOAH STAGE NEAR MASH.IDI looks at me with a smile,today he has 'carried ' 2500,He hands me 12300,he has 'eaten Kode of 2500 plus 200 for police,I'm happy ,I add him 200 not knowing 2 passengers who are his friends gave him 200 each,today he will eat with fork,all together he has 600 from one car,besides Kode.
I get in and look through the mirror,Noahs are small passenger cars,so a simple look and I see all my passengers through the rear view mirror,seat No.4 is of interest,it has a lady,the ones that make @⁨Pastor Dere Freddy⁩ share all his salary at Mtito,she is hot,I take note and say aisuru,Earth is Earth.
Seat No.1 has an even hotter Chick,I cry @⁨Brio Jaugenya Tao Shimo⁩ if he was here today this one would not escape that man is chumbi nyiri(salt for girls),I quickly say hi,lost in the excitement I introduce myself,hello my name is Collins,I'm your driver on this journey ,with a huge smile she says oooh that's nice,I'm Latifa,then I notice her gap between the upper teeth waaa,hii safari ,neema itoshe.
So I go down to Shell Grogon,today pocket is good,I ask the attendant to fill the tank,I ask any passenger who may need to go for a short call to use the time as we fuel,then my front passenger takes the offer as though it was long awaited,then,then that's when I notice what she was carrying,my brothers from the lake say amebeba Hadi za jirani...I quickly sense danger,if I don't act quickly I will be in trouble.
Fuel is checked,water check, coolant check,tyre pressure check,all is well,my passengers are all back,it's time to start our journey.
I park by the side,my instincts tell me if I don't Proclaim Jesus now this journey will be difficult,So I switch off engine and ask to pray...I say a long prayer ,for the journey,for my passengers,for their families and also for my own then ask God to use me and be the driver all in the name Of Jesus and all the passengers said Amen.
As I start the journey , passenger 02 says na dereva ukiendelea hivyo na maombi hata lorry na bus utanunua,if only he knew ....
I take the Racecourse roundabout,Kamukunji,City stadium ,SouthB then onto Mombasa road.

Today Metal is feeling good,service done the previous day so metal is in good condition...leo 6 hrs Mombasa here we come.
I get onto Mombasa Road,all is well Gospel music kwa chiiiiini,passenger number one is constantly on phone,big stories with the person on the other side,can't help but help evesdropping on her saying how SGR was full and Flights unavailable...ni wale wale tu,tunawajua,I tell myself .
One cardinal rule I have is never talk much to Passenger number One if it's a lady before half time,la sivyo utaingia hasara pale halftime,story ni tukishapita Mtito tafadhali mtu akishajitegemea kwa cashier pale hotelini,safari ni kujipanga please .
By now we are at Mlolongo,I stop by the bumps and buy sugarcane,@⁨Pastor Dere Freddy⁩ and I don't chana so I take miwa instead...katambe.
Metal is passing Sabaki,I press gas a Little,I see stick reaching 100+ I will not mention how far beyond 100 it went @⁨Nyash LODDCA Chairman⁩ will kill me here if I do but metal is good,by now it's just whistling.
I get to Machakos in no time,I usually buy energy drink from the ladies at the bump,just to put a smile on their face.
So metal is catching road well now,past Konza,Malili...Mimi huyoo naelekea Salama.You know this bends before salama,there metal fires 🔥 kanisa,I look through my rear view mirror and all my 6 passengers are asleep,I smile.Could this mean they are happy with my driving ?Well I can't tell....Metal is doing well,the sun still not so hot it's mid morning so all windows up except mine,it's exciting.
Then Passenger No.1 breaks the ice...by the way mbona sijawai kuona kwa hii route na venye mi hutumia hizi Noah Sana...I give a good gentle smile,then I'm like Mimi huwa ,nimekuwa pia for so long..then I remembered her earlier conversation of flight ,SGR blabla and I'm vindicated,ni walewale tu,my mind goes alert....be careful my mother's son,I hear voices in my head...
Metal is at Sultan Hamud,then shortly we reach Emali,I ask if anyone wants vitunguu,nyanya etc, they all say yes ,they woke up

I stop by Hanas place...you know Hana is this good trader that always gave me mangoes and oranges and water melon for free just for stopping by,I never miss a chance to take my clients there so I can get freebies....

Passengers buy ,I embark on the journey again..you know the stretch between Emali and Makindu is very good ,so I press metal,metal agrees to move,today I must beat the SGR,I target 1pm Mombasa.
.
Makindu slowed me down abit,got so many trucks but Earth is Earth...
Kiundwani,Mbui Nzau(this in English means white goat),Kibwezi Junction,Machinery a few trucks here and there and soon we were in Mtito Andei,my people are asleep,I wake them up at Rubi I give them 15mins ....passenger No.1 looks at me with excitement hands me 300 Bob and goes like dere umekuja POA wacha niku buyie lunch..I take with thanks ofcourse not telling her that we get free food,then I hear a shout from the back,waaaaa dere tuko Mtito?haki siumekuja haraka na POA,I feel good,such compliments make my day.
I do shortcall,do my lunch then back to the car,they are all back,I take another look at passenger number 4,mamamia what a beauty,I cry @⁨Pastor Dere Freddy⁩ hapa ufisi ingetokea,Yesu ni Bwana siku hizi ameokoka.
We start off again.
Mtito Man Eaters,Manyani Voi is a bumpy stretch,the climate now changes and it starts getting hot.
As we get to Voi,I ask Kama Kuna mteja wa Voi... luckily there isn't,those rumble bumps in Voi waste so much time,what a relief,I buy my korosho water then proceed.
Now I'm ready to 'bit ' story,this girl must talk,kipindi ni Cha lala salama,it's do or die...Bahati ikiwa yako ni yako,even without asking she just started by herself....Yani hivi waishi Mombasa au Nairobi.. Nairobi ,I replied...that's nice pia mimi naishi Nairobi but I'm on leave going to visit my sister in Mombasa,she is so busy though so I may just have to entertain myself...I smile at her as I look at the hawkers in Maungu,hapa Sasa lazima niseme....😂😂😂
That's nice,I tell her,si you hire me so I can show you around,drive you around?
Why not?she replied
How much will you charge?If you are fair I wouldn't mind.
Ok I will do 5k per day but you fuel...
That's too much,please do 4k ,I will fuel and give you food but accommodation is on you.
I quickly did the math and accepted the offer,this was a 4 day job,no hustle,no kode,hakuna kuchoka,why not?I agreed.
.
Meanwhile metal is doing well,I'm now past MacKinnon...this place,I don't understand why they gave it such a difficult name..I push metal.
It's 11:30am,I'm on time,I have cheda,I have a promised Job and then a damsel..sishikiki.
.
The stretch from MacKinnon to Taru gets slower,I have no incentive to get to Mombasa fast,I have a four day job in the pocket....Samburu,Maji Ya chumvi, weigh bridge,Mariakani all done well,metal is behaving.
I get to Bonje,I ask if there are passengers to Mikindani,there is none,I take the bypass ,metal is eating road one kilometer at a time,my heart Happy,I have a job waiting and a damsel.
.
Portreiz,Magongo,Changamwe,Makupa,Saba Saba and Bingo we are in town, Total,Noah stage...it's time to pray,I ask one passenger to pray,passenger No.4 offers to pray...it's short precise and heavenly...
I help them get their bags and remain with passenger no.1.Destination Ukunda...
..
@⁨Pastor Dere Freddy⁩ I will tell you how my 4 days beyond the ferry went....
...
Boy don't I miss the road.
Waaaaa
..
If you miss the road if you miss long distance raise up your ✋ ✋ so we can cry cry cry together...
..
That's the life of a Noah driver
 

Budspencer

Elder Lister
Huku ni kwa wazee ,mambo ya handas is demeaning our esteemed village
Hehe, najua hii kitu huzima transformer so wazee hawapendi but it's been almost two years man. That thing with a long drive na sahio tukunguru tunawapapasa ni starehe ingine ya ajabu. One designated driver each way and strictly no alcohol for him. You'll never forget the experience.
 

Giggz

Elder Lister
Have come across a great hekaya and had to share
.
So Im in town,it's one of those good Fridays,it's morning and Im at the NOAH STAGE NEAR MASH.IDI looks at me with a smile,today he has 'carried ' 2500,He hands me 12300,he has 'eaten Kode of 2500 plus 200 for police,I'm happy ,I add him 200 not knowing 2 passengers who are his friends gave him 200 each,today he will eat with fork,all together he has 600 from one car,besides Kode.
I get in and look through the mirror,Noahs are small passenger cars,so a simple look and I see all my passengers through the rear view mirror,seat No.4 is of interest,it has a lady,the ones that make @⁨Pastor Dere Freddy⁩ share all his salary at Mtito,she is hot,I take note and say aisuru,Earth is Earth.
Seat No.1 has an even hotter Chick,I cry @⁨Brio Jaugenya Tao Shimo⁩ if he was here today this one would not escape that man is chumbi nyiri(salt for girls),I quickly say hi,lost in the excitement I introduce myself,hello my name is Collins,I'm your driver on this journey ,with a huge smile she says oooh that's nice,I'm Latifa,then I notice her gap between the upper teeth waaa,hii safari ,neema itoshe.
So I go down to Shell Grogon,today pocket is good,I ask the attendant to fill the tank,I ask any passenger who may need to go for a short call to use the time as we fuel,then my front passenger takes the offer as though it was long awaited,then,then that's when I notice what she was carrying,my brothers from the lake say amebeba Hadi za jirani...I quickly sense danger,if I don't act quickly I will be in trouble.
Fuel is checked,water check, coolant check,tyre pressure check,all is well,my passengers are all back,it's time to start our journey.
I park by the side,my instincts tell me if I don't Proclaim Jesus now this journey will be difficult,So I switch off engine and ask to pray...I say a long prayer ,for the journey,for my passengers,for their families and also for my own then ask God to use me and be the driver all in the name Of Jesus and all the passengers said Amen.
As I start the journey , passenger 02 says na dereva ukiendelea hivyo na maombi hata lorry na bus utanunua,if only he knew ....
I take the Racecourse roundabout,Kamukunji,City stadium ,SouthB then onto Mombasa road.

Today Metal is feeling good,service done the previous day so metal is in good condition...leo 6 hrs Mombasa here we come.
I get onto Mombasa Road,all is well Gospel music kwa chiiiiini,passenger number one is constantly on phone,big stories with the person on the other side,can't help but help evesdropping on her saying how SGR was full and Flights unavailable...ni wale wale tu,tunawajua,I tell myself .
One cardinal rule I have is never talk much to Passenger number One if it's a lady before half time,la sivyo utaingia hasara pale halftime,story ni tukishapita Mtito tafadhali mtu akishajitegemea kwa cashier pale hotelini,safari ni kujipanga please .
By now we are at Mlolongo,I stop by the bumps and buy sugarcane,@⁨Pastor Dere Freddy⁩ and I don't chana so I take miwa instead...katambe.
Metal is passing Sabaki,I press gas a Little,I see stick reaching 100+ I will not mention how far beyond 100 it went @⁨Nyash LODDCA Chairman⁩ will kill me here if I do but metal is good,by now it's just whistling.
I get to Machakos in no time,I usually buy energy drink from the ladies at the bump,just to put a smile on their face.
So metal is catching road well now,past Konza,Malili...Mimi huyoo naelekea Salama.You know this bends before salama,there metal fires 🔥 kanisa,I look through my rear view mirror and all my 6 passengers are asleep,I smile.Could this mean they are happy with my driving ?Well I can't tell....Metal is doing well,the sun still not so hot it's mid morning so all windows up except mine,it's exciting.
Then Passenger No.1 breaks the ice...by the way mbona sijawai kuona kwa hii route na venye mi hutumia hizi Noah Sana...I give a good gentle smile,then I'm like Mimi huwa ,nimekuwa pia for so long..then I remembered her earlier conversation of flight ,SGR blabla and I'm vindicated,ni walewale tu,my mind goes alert....be careful my mother's son,I hear voices in my head...
Metal is at Sultan Hamud,then shortly we reach Emali,I ask if anyone wants vitunguu,nyanya etc, they all say yes ,they woke up

I stop by Hanas place...you know Hana is this good trader that always gave me mangoes and oranges and water melon for free just for stopping by,I never miss a chance to take my clients there so I can get freebies....

Passengers buy ,I embark on the journey again..you know the stretch between Emali and Makindu is very good ,so I press metal,metal agrees to move,today I must beat the SGR,I target 1pm Mombasa.
.
Makindu slowed me down abit,got so many trucks but Earth is Earth...
Kiundwani,Mbui Nzau(this in English means white goat),Kibwezi Junction,Machinery a few trucks here and there and soon we were in Mtito Andei,my people are asleep,I wake them up at Rubi I give them 15mins ....passenger No.1 looks at me with excitement hands me 300 Bob and goes like dere umekuja POA wacha niku buyie lunch..I take with thanks ofcourse not telling her that we get free food,then I hear a shout from the back,waaaaa dere tuko Mtito?haki siumekuja haraka na POA,I feel good,such compliments make my day.
I do shortcall,do my lunch then back to the car,they are all back,I take another look at passenger number 4,mamamia what a beauty,I cry @⁨Pastor Dere Freddy⁩ hapa ufisi ingetokea,Yesu ni Bwana siku hizi ameokoka.
We start off again.
Mtito Man Eaters,Manyani Voi is a bumpy stretch,the climate now changes and it starts getting hot.
As we get to Voi,I ask Kama Kuna mteja wa Voi... luckily there isn't,those rumble bumps in Voi waste so much time,what a relief,I buy my korosho water then proceed.
Now I'm ready to 'bit ' story,this girl must talk,kipindi ni Cha lala salama,it's do or die...Bahati ikiwa yako ni yako,even without asking she just started by herself....Yani hivi waishi Mombasa au Nairobi.. Nairobi ,I replied...that's nice pia mimi naishi Nairobi but I'm on leave going to visit my sister in Mombasa,she is so busy though so I may just have to entertain myself...I smile at her as I look at the hawkers in Maungu,hapa Sasa lazima niseme....😂😂😂
That's nice,I tell her,si you hire me so I can show you around,drive you around?
Why not?she replied
How much will you charge?If you are fair I wouldn't mind.
Ok I will do 5k per day but you fuel...
That's too much,please do 4k ,I will fuel and give you food but accommodation is on you.
I quickly did the math and accepted the offer,this was a 4 day job,no hustle,no kode,hakuna kuchoka,why not?I agreed.
.
Meanwhile metal is doing well,I'm now past MacKinnon...this place,I don't understand why they gave it such a difficult name..I push metal.
It's 11:30am,I'm on time,I have cheda,I have a promised Job and then a damsel..sishikiki.
.
The stretch from MacKinnon to Taru gets slower,I have no incentive to get to Mombasa fast,I have a four day job in the pocket....Samburu,Maji Ya chumvi, weigh bridge,Mariakani all done well,metal is behaving.
I get to Bonje,I ask if there are passengers to Mikindani,there is none,I take the bypass ,metal is eating road one kilometer at a time,my heart Happy,I have a job waiting and a damsel.
.
Portreiz,Magongo,Changamwe,Makupa,Saba Saba and Bingo we are in town, Total,Noah stage...it's time to pray,I ask one passenger to pray,passenger No.4 offers to pray...it's short precise and heavenly...
I help them get their bags and remain with passenger no.1.Destination Ukunda...
..
@⁨Pastor Dere Freddy⁩ I will tell you how my 4 days beyond the ferry went....
...
Boy don't I miss the road.
Waaaaa
..
If you miss the road if you miss long distance raise up your ✋ ✋ so we can cry cry cry together...
..
That's the life of a Noah driver
Worth thiefing. :D
 
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