kymnjoro
Elder Lister
1. A woman that tells good stories when y'all eating. She's trying to distract you so she can eat more. Be vigilant.
2. A woman that licks YOUR chicken/beef gravy off the cooking pot. That is not a woman: You are dealing with a spirit.
3. A woman that fights with you over the top most bread (the one with a brown back. What I call the buttock of the bread). That lacks motherly qualities. Dismiss her.
4. A woman that drinks soda & makes that "aaahhh" sound. That is a man masquerading as a woman.
5. I have seen cases of women mixing beans and fish and irish potatoes. That is beyond you. You are dealing with a demon. It is too late. Call pastor.
6. If she burns food. She is a mercenary. She has been sent by your village people to finish you. Dismiss her.
7. There are women who will take your one avocado (the one you've kept for months anticipating a good meal) & paint it on their face. The rest can be forgiven, this one can't. Don't even give her fare back. Let her walk. She hates you and your people.
8. Lastly, there're women who only grunt during sex. They don't cheer you on like the bull you are. They don't call you names like "sharp shooter", "Dzaddy", "the ass bender", "terminator", "the deliverer" - when you are delivering the strokes. These are what Achebe calls Ogbanje
2. A woman that licks YOUR chicken/beef gravy off the cooking pot. That is not a woman: You are dealing with a spirit.
3. A woman that fights with you over the top most bread (the one with a brown back. What I call the buttock of the bread). That lacks motherly qualities. Dismiss her.
4. A woman that drinks soda & makes that "aaahhh" sound. That is a man masquerading as a woman.
5. I have seen cases of women mixing beans and fish and irish potatoes. That is beyond you. You are dealing with a demon. It is too late. Call pastor.
6. If she burns food. She is a mercenary. She has been sent by your village people to finish you. Dismiss her.
7. There are women who will take your one avocado (the one you've kept for months anticipating a good meal) & paint it on their face. The rest can be forgiven, this one can't. Don't even give her fare back. Let her walk. She hates you and your people.
8. Lastly, there're women who only grunt during sex. They don't cheer you on like the bull you are. They don't call you names like "sharp shooter", "Dzaddy", "the ass bender", "terminator", "the deliverer" - when you are delivering the strokes. These are what Achebe calls Ogbanje
