Tonight I’m coming home early..
And i promise I’m not coming at you with the ‘umekua ukifanya nini siku nzima shuwally'( well I’ll try)
Tonight i’m cooking your favourite dish yes chapo and nyama and I’m coming with wine even though you say it’s too blant for you .Tonight I’m taking some puffs of that blunt with you ,but no I’m sniffing no cocaine!
Tonight I’ll even ask you which team won and i hope Arsenal really did this time! And babe i keep telling you to change teams but you wont listen.
You keep doing that thing, putting DJ Khalid’s voice on saying ‘No man changes their team baby!that’s insane that’s disloyal and a man who does that is a Hoe baby, a what?’
And when I refuse to respond ‘ a hoe’ because I’m not your fuckin fan you kiss me all over my neck and shit it gives me chills and you know it.
Baby tanightttt i’m giving it to you so good well my back hurts but I’ll try to last a little longer this time.
I know lately I been distant because I can’t satisfy your libido on drugs that’s for sure.
But just tonight!I’m yours for the taking.
Because tonight is almost like our last supper
I’m in a matatu coming home and I don’t even know why my eyes are wet,I’m silently crying not sure if it’s my missed periods or the crazy mood swings or Dave , fuckin Dave.You see ,life was good before his paps died (may his soul rest in peace) .
Now we pick fights,I sleep on the couch and last week he passed out on an overdose !
This Rasta guy beside me keeps asking me if I’m okay and I keep nodding. Then he moves alittle closer and trys to put his arm over my shoulder, CAN YOU IMAGINE.
Is he high?or insaneeee!!
I give him the most devilish look and whisper so loud with my teeth grinding ” I HAVE A MAN AT HOMEEE’
‘Is he the reason you are crying”
he responds so calmly that I’m not sure if it’s a come back a question or his piece of mind, whatever!
“Achana na Mimi’
Dinner goes well,I even asked him before ‘if he will eat before he eats’ he chose the latter ofcourse.
I keep looking at the clock , anxious, uneasy and there! a loud bang on the door ,it’s them…
I pretend not to recognise my uncle who I had met a week ago and asked him for his solace.
He is a man of few words
”its rehab or prison son” he says while his huge men come for the love of my life sandwiching him almost leaving him breathless.
Rehab baby,you are going to rehab
He couldn’t stop resisting and yelling throwing curses about how his family is wealthy and are going to get ontop of this
It was like watching your child get their first injection.
” Babe do something” he says and I wanted to tell them to stoppppp
But the best things are hard earned right? So
It was for the best!
“Call my mum” were the last words that echoed before the huge guy roughly bent his head to get in the car ,they were huge for a reason.
I trembled that night till the sun was up
And one month later I was bold enough to go and see him.
You rarely see me in a dress,I was in one today, a red one ,your favourite colour but I doubt you give one damn about that
I had rehearsed this conversation in my head for most night’s but it wasn’t going as per the script, you were hostile and couldn’t even look me in the eye,is that what they teach you in there?
“Look there was something important I wanted to tell you babe,and you was too much in your head …”
“So you put me in a rehab to get my attention?” you interupt
“You are such a bitch” you add
And there,I lost it
Disrespect was the last thing I was going to take from you
“Fine you really want to know?this was not for you.
It’s for your daughter!okay?” I yell
I’m 3months pregnant Dave!
And if you really want to be a part of this,you have to get your shit together” . With that I left…
Goddamnit this was not the way I intended to tell this man that he was going to be a father .
I had a plan!
Roses and flowers
Champagne and kisses.Maybe even a baby apron written ‘Hello dad’
But I had to serve him like the ‘bitch’ I was,right.
You deserved better though
But you know who else deserved better?your dad!
He didn’t even for a second deserve a drunk son on his burial,That man deserved a better send off.
He didn’t deserve to be the reason you was tripping this hard .
And tell you what,I’m not bringing a child in this world to meet a messed up dad.
Independent woman my ass! My foot,heart,head and body couldn’t take it anymore! I sat outside the rehabilitation centre and cried myself outtt like a beggar.
I’m beginning to think I’ll call our little one ‘chozi’ because all I been doing through this pregnancy is cry and cry like it’s a craving!
Buckle up love
And i promise I’m not coming at you with the ‘umekua ukifanya nini siku nzima shuwally'( well I’ll try)
Tonight i’m cooking your favourite dish yes chapo and nyama and I’m coming with wine even though you say it’s too blant for you .Tonight I’m taking some puffs of that blunt with you ,but no I’m sniffing no cocaine!
Tonight I’ll even ask you which team won and i hope Arsenal really did this time! And babe i keep telling you to change teams but you wont listen.
You keep doing that thing, putting DJ Khalid’s voice on saying ‘No man changes their team baby!that’s insane that’s disloyal and a man who does that is a Hoe baby, a what?’
And when I refuse to respond ‘ a hoe’ because I’m not your fuckin fan you kiss me all over my neck and shit it gives me chills and you know it.
Baby tanightttt i’m giving it to you so good well my back hurts but I’ll try to last a little longer this time.
I know lately I been distant because I can’t satisfy your libido on drugs that’s for sure.
But just tonight!I’m yours for the taking.
Because tonight is almost like our last supper
I’m in a matatu coming home and I don’t even know why my eyes are wet,I’m silently crying not sure if it’s my missed periods or the crazy mood swings or Dave , fuckin Dave.You see ,life was good before his paps died (may his soul rest in peace) .
Now we pick fights,I sleep on the couch and last week he passed out on an overdose !
This Rasta guy beside me keeps asking me if I’m okay and I keep nodding. Then he moves alittle closer and trys to put his arm over my shoulder, CAN YOU IMAGINE.
Is he high?or insaneeee!!
I give him the most devilish look and whisper so loud with my teeth grinding ” I HAVE A MAN AT HOMEEE’
‘Is he the reason you are crying”
he responds so calmly that I’m not sure if it’s a come back a question or his piece of mind, whatever!
“Achana na Mimi’
Dinner goes well,I even asked him before ‘if he will eat before he eats’ he chose the latter ofcourse.
I keep looking at the clock , anxious, uneasy and there! a loud bang on the door ,it’s them…
I pretend not to recognise my uncle who I had met a week ago and asked him for his solace.
He is a man of few words
”its rehab or prison son” he says while his huge men come for the love of my life sandwiching him almost leaving him breathless.
Rehab baby,you are going to rehab
He couldn’t stop resisting and yelling throwing curses about how his family is wealthy and are going to get ontop of this
It was like watching your child get their first injection.
” Babe do something” he says and I wanted to tell them to stoppppp
But the best things are hard earned right? So
It was for the best!
“Call my mum” were the last words that echoed before the huge guy roughly bent his head to get in the car ,they were huge for a reason.
I trembled that night till the sun was up
And one month later I was bold enough to go and see him.
You rarely see me in a dress,I was in one today, a red one ,your favourite colour but I doubt you give one damn about that
I had rehearsed this conversation in my head for most night’s but it wasn’t going as per the script, you were hostile and couldn’t even look me in the eye,is that what they teach you in there?
“Look there was something important I wanted to tell you babe,and you was too much in your head …”
“So you put me in a rehab to get my attention?” you interupt
“You are such a bitch” you add
And there,I lost it
Disrespect was the last thing I was going to take from you
“Fine you really want to know?this was not for you.
It’s for your daughter!okay?” I yell
I’m 3months pregnant Dave!
And if you really want to be a part of this,you have to get your shit together” . With that I left…
Goddamnit this was not the way I intended to tell this man that he was going to be a father .
I had a plan!
Roses and flowers
Champagne and kisses.Maybe even a baby apron written ‘Hello dad’
But I had to serve him like the ‘bitch’ I was,right.
You deserved better though
But you know who else deserved better?your dad!
He didn’t even for a second deserve a drunk son on his burial,That man deserved a better send off.
He didn’t deserve to be the reason you was tripping this hard .
And tell you what,I’m not bringing a child in this world to meet a messed up dad.
Independent woman my ass! My foot,heart,head and body couldn’t take it anymore! I sat outside the rehabilitation centre and cried myself outtt like a beggar.
I’m beginning to think I’ll call our little one ‘chozi’ because all I been doing through this pregnancy is cry and cry like it’s a craving!
Buckle up love