Premio Boys - the new breed of Subaru Boys

mzeiya

Elder Lister
Haya, vaeni leso basi.

Hekaya by a madam called Waruguru.
_______________
I'm sorry to inform you but the devil has since moved headquarters. His permanent residence is no longer in the heads of Subaru owners, only his gateman and chef reside there. A few years back, he was seen packing all his tight jeans and polo t-shirts, gallons of cologne, lip balm, Jameson Mzingas, Masai sandals and condoms. Those who saw him say that he offloaded all his stuff in a white Premio and drove off.

Ladies and Ladies, it is these Premio boys that you should be afraid of now. Oh yes!

Who is a Premio Boy? A Premio boy is one who texts his girlfriend everyday claiming that he was in the main committee that organized son of man crucification and that he is still stuck in Golgotha because they are having daily meetings trying to figure out how Jesus rolled away his tomb stone.

Without blinking an eye, he is one to video call said girlfriend on WhatsApp, with the following opening statement " A girl baby you know me I work with big people, infact I'm in another committee meeting trying to understand why there is fuel shortage". Meanwhile when the said a girl baby looks at the background closely, she only sees botros of Heineken , mountains of meat and a fellow human of the female gender shaking her front and back like an angry earthquake.

Who is a Premio boy? A Premio boy is one who invites you on a date. He even offers to pick you up. On your way to the venue said Premio son of Satan remembers "Ah, I did not carry my wallet. So you drive to his home to pick his stuff. Once in the house, he takes his sweet time as a girl baby sits pretty in the car farting quickly while adjusting her stomach arrestor. 26 minutes later, Premio boy calls a girl baby, " Babe you do this, you come in the house and help me look for the wallet". 12 minutes later, a girl baby is spotted dangling on the sitting room bulb fighting for her dear ovaries.

Who is a Premio boy? A Premio boy is the one who after successfully germinating a girl baby's ovaries excitedly says without blinking"oh my wife I will take care of you". Please note that he is also the same dude who gets tonsils, near death flu and hoarse voice everytime a girl baby enquires on the day she is supposed to gather her village people for purposes of calculating how many goats she is worth. Now he is here baptizing the said woman as his wife. Okay.

Said Premio is the one who watches the 'wife' pregnancy rise and rise, the day she checks in at Mama Lucy Hospital to deliver, Premio boy rushes back home, moves out then proceeds to text a girl baby " Hi, me I have decided to get saved, pastor says I should purify myself before my wedding with Truphosa happening next week. By the way you are invited"

These Premio boys who drive in slow motion to save their tyres, these ones who listen to P square and E- sir calling themselves old school, these ones with nine trimmed finger nail and one overgrown middle finger nail, these ones whose fridge is always stocked with soda water and Heineken, these ones.... these ones now on their way to Naivasha dressed in those puffy half coats of "outside eaters" and yellow sneakers... Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa that is Satan!

My sister's please I beg you, I don't know what you will do, if you will faint, kidnap yourself or disappear to any village without network...whatever you do, please attempt any relationship, situationship, fellowship or any kind of ship with any son of Jeroboam owning a Premio, Subaru outback, Toyota Auris or Nissan Tilda Hatchback. You will suffer! Your ancestors will suffer!

If I don't tell you these things you will say I'm jealous.
 

Kasaman

Elder Lister
Haya, vaeni leso basi.

Hekaya by a madam called Waruguru.
_______________
I'm sorry to inform you but the devil has since moved headquarters. His permanent residence is no longer in the heads of Subaru owners, only his gateman and chef reside there. A few years back, he was seen packing all his tight jeans and polo t-shirts, gallons of cologne, lip balm, Jameson Mzingas, Masai sandals and condoms. Those who saw him say that he offloaded all his stuff in a white Premio and drove off.

Ladies and Ladies, it is these Premio boys that you should be afraid of now. Oh yes!

Who is a Premio Boy? A Premio boy is one who texts his girlfriend everyday claiming that he was in the main committee that organized son of man crucification and that he is still stuck in Golgotha because they are having daily meetings trying to figure out how Jesus rolled away his tomb stone.

Without blinking an eye, he is one to video call said girlfriend on WhatsApp, with the following opening statement " A girl baby you know me I work with big people, infact I'm in another committee meeting trying to understand why there is fuel shortage". Meanwhile when the said a girl baby looks at the background closely, she only sees botros of Heineken , mountains of meat and a fellow human of the female gender shaking her front and back like an angry earthquake.

Who is a Premio boy? A Premio boy is one who invites you on a date. He even offers to pick you up. On your way to the venue said Premio son of Satan remembers "Ah, I did not carry my wallet. So you drive to his home to pick his stuff. Once in the house, he takes his sweet time as a girl baby sits pretty in the car farting quickly while adjusting her stomach arrestor. 26 minutes later, Premio boy calls a girl baby, " Babe you do this, you come in the house and help me look for the wallet". 12 minutes later, a girl baby is spotted dangling on the sitting room bulb fighting for her dear ovaries.

Who is a Premio boy? A Premio boy is the one who after successfully germinating a girl baby's ovaries excitedly says without blinking"oh my wife I will take care of you". Please note that he is also the same dude who gets tonsils, near death flu and hoarse voice everytime a girl baby enquires on the day she is supposed to gather her village people for purposes of calculating how many goats she is worth. Now he is here baptizing the said woman as his wife. Okay.

Said Premio is the one who watches the 'wife' pregnancy rise and rise, the day she checks in at Mama Lucy Hospital to deliver, Premio boy rushes back home, moves out then proceeds to text a girl baby " Hi, me I have decided to get saved, pastor says I should purify myself before my wedding with Truphosa happening next week. By the way you are invited"

These Premio boys who drive in slow motion to save their tyres, these ones who listen to P square and E- sir calling themselves old school, these ones with nine trimmed finger nail and one overgrown middle finger nail, these ones whose fridge is always stocked with soda water and Heineken, these ones.... these ones now on their way to Naivasha dressed in those puffy half coats of "outside eaters" and yellow sneakers... Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa that is Satan!

My sister's please I beg you, I don't know what you will do, if you will faint, kidnap yourself or disappear to any village without network...whatever you do, please attempt any relationship, situationship, fellowship or any kind of ship with any son of Jeroboam owning a Premio, Subaru outback, Toyota Auris or Nissan Tilda Hatchback. You will suffer! Your ancestors will suffer!

If I don't tell you these things you will say I'm jealous.
Could you be telling us about yourself !
20220419_202815.jpg
 
Top