Nyama ya Mamba

M

Mnyama Fulani

Lister
food, hii kitu siwezi jaribu hata kuguza.
Wacha niwapee hekaya...
About 2005 nilikuwa works Kisumu we had saved with a few friends tukaenda Mombasa kuoga na maji ya chumvi na kupatia mwili pole. Tukiwa tumebakisha a few hours to board, jaMaa akakuja with a great idea eti for our last day lunch/dinner kabla tuingie Scandinavia kurudi Kisumu twende tukule crocodile buffet pale Mamba Village.
The team was very excited and very quickly agreed. Tushapack mizigo mbio cab ndio hiyo, Mamba Village. Tumeitisha nyama ya mamba, but hapo kitu ikanishow Mimi na kuwa ja-adwen (Adventis), nikapona hii kitu ni Haram so nikaitisha kuku na starch.
maboys wakanicheka huku wakijichocha vile wao ni bad boys. Tukameza food, tukatudua bags tukafululiza kwa stage kama tumeshiba na kuingia bus ya kurudi lakeside town.
THe journey was ok, tukapita Nairobi at about saa nne usiku by about saa nane tuko Nakuru. Hapo ndio shida zilianza, one of the guys (for now call him Ochi), akaanza kutokwa na jasho. Akaanza kucomplain eti anahisi pande moja kichwa kinachomeka. Anaskia kujikuna. Juu alikuwa amebeba stock yake ya brandy, vijana wakamwambia atulize na maji.
kufika Kericho tukaea na pitstop ya 15 min. Tukaingia kunyora. Kuangalia jamaa uso imekuwa black pande moja na imeanza kuwa na pimples kubwa za black... Tukashtuka... But tukaji console na kusema pengine alitembelewa na Nairobi fly.
Kufika ahero jamaa anasema kichwa kinachemka side moja. Kumwangalia kichwa ni black, imefura hadi macho imejifunga haoni na macho side ya left.
Tukaanza kuogopa... Vile bus ilipiga brake kwa stage tukamwingiza can mbio hadi AKUH.. Vile aliingia A&E nurses walikuwa wanaangalia kwa umbali nobody wanted to touch him.
After tests ilisemekana he reacted with something he had very recently eaten. Which he could only pinpoint as the steak ya croc...
And that's how I knew ukila nyama mamba there's a chance that you would start looking like a burukenge...
He got discharged after four days, but to date his face has two colors...
 
X-TRAIL

X-TRAIL

Elder Lister
Mnyama Fulani said:
food, hii kitu siwezi jaribu hata kuguza.
Wacha niwapee hekaya...
About 2005 nilikuwa works Kisumu we had saved with a few friends tukaenda Mombasa kuoga na maji ya chumvi na kupatia mwili pole. Tukiwa tumebakisha a few hours to board, jaMaa akakuja with a great idea eti for our last day lunch/dinner kabla tuingie Scandinavia kurudi Kisumu twende tukule crocodile buffet pale Mamba Village.
The team was very excited and very quickly agreed. Tushapack mizigo mbio cab ndio hiyo, Mamba Village. Tumeitisha nyama ya mamba, but hapo kitu ikanishow Mimi na kuwa ja-adwen (Adventis), nikapona hii kitu ni Haram so nikaitisha kuku na starch.
maboys wakanicheka huku wakijichocha vile wao ni bad boys. Tukameza food, tukatudua bags tukafululiza kwa stage kama tumeshiba na kuingia bus ya kurudi lakeside town.
THe journey was ok, tukapita Nairobi at about saa nne usiku by about saa nane tuko Nakuru. Hapo ndio shida zilianza, one of the guys (for now call him Ochi), akaanza kutokwa na jasho. Akaanza kucomplain eti anahisi pande moja kichwa kinachomeka. Anaskia kujikuna. Juu alikuwa amebeba stock yake ya brandy, vijana wakamwambia atulize na maji.
kufika Kericho tukaea na pitstop ya 15 min. Tukaingia kunyora. Kuangalia jamaa uso imekuwa black pande moja na imeanza kuwa na pimples kubwa za black... Tukashtuka... But tukaji console na kusema pengine alitembelewa na Nairobi fly.
Kufika ahero jamaa anasema kichwa kinachemka side moja. Kumwangalia kichwa ni black, imefura hadi macho imejifunga haoni na macho side ya left.
Tukaanza kuogopa... Vile bus ilipiga brake kwa stage tukamwingiza can mbio hadi AKUH.. Vile aliingia A&E nurses walikuwa wanaangalia kwa umbali nobody wanted to touch him.
After tests ilisemekana he reacted with something he had very recently eaten. Which he could only pinpoint as the steak ya croc...
And that's how I knew ukila nyama mamba there's a chance that you would start looking like a burukenge...
He got discharged after four days, but to date his face has two colors...
Click to expand...
Hii ni hekaya ya abunuasi and other stories
 
Pseudonyms

Pseudonyms

Elder Lister
Mimi nilifululiza hadi Fogo Gaucho siku moja. For Sh2,500 you eat all the meat you can. Fried, roast, boiled, rare and barely dead, burnt, meats of 100 kinds of animals.

Nikasema hapa ni kukula nyama sijawahi kula. Jamaa wa beef na mbuzi alikua anakuja na nyama namwambia atoke hapo na tuheshimiane sana.

Ngoma ilikua, crocodile, ostrich (although it tasted like shit), some exotically cooked pork, etc. I must have eaten like Sh4,000 worth of crocodile when I decided to change to seafood. Makosa.

From the first bite of prawns, nikaanza kuskia nauseated, kujikuna koo venye mtu huskia akienda kushikwa na homa, then nikaanza kufungana koo. Nikijaribu kuita waiter aniletee maji au soda sauti ishaanza kupotea. I immediately knew I was suffering from an allergic reaction to one of the meats.

Nikatoka, nikakimbia kutafuta chemist. I found one but with a 3-man queue. When I got to the counter, I was completely out of breath and drooling. I couldn't even talk. I had to write down on a paper that I was reacting to some meat I had eaten. Kumbe it was more serious than I had thought. Nilishugulikiwa haraka upesi including an injection on the spot. The symptoms did not fully subside until two days later when I guess I had expelled all the meat from the body.
 
G

Giggz

Elder Lister
Mnyama Fulani said:
food, hii kitu siwezi jaribu hata kuguza.
Wacha niwapee hekaya...
About 2005 nilikuwa works Kisumu we had saved with a few friends tukaenda Mombasa kuoga na maji ya chumvi na kupatia mwili pole. Tukiwa tumebakisha a few hours to board, jaMaa akakuja with a great idea eti for our last day lunch/dinner kabla tuingie Scandinavia kurudi Kisumu twende tukule crocodile buffet pale Mamba Village.
The team was very excited and very quickly agreed. Tushapack mizigo mbio cab ndio hiyo, Mamba Village. Tumeitisha nyama ya mamba, but hapo kitu ikanishow Mimi na kuwa ja-adwen (Adventis), nikapona hii kitu ni Haram so nikaitisha kuku na starch.
maboys wakanicheka huku wakijichocha vile wao ni bad boys. Tukameza food, tukatudua bags tukafululiza kwa stage kama tumeshiba na kuingia bus ya kurudi lakeside town.
THe journey was ok, tukapita Nairobi at about saa nne usiku by about saa nane tuko Nakuru. Hapo ndio shida zilianza, one of the guys (for now call him Ochi), akaanza kutokwa na jasho. Akaanza kucomplain eti anahisi pande moja kichwa kinachomeka. Anaskia kujikuna. Juu alikuwa amebeba stock yake ya brandy, vijana wakamwambia atulize na maji.
kufika Kericho tukaea na pitstop ya 15 min. Tukaingia kunyora. Kuangalia jamaa uso imekuwa black pande moja na imeanza kuwa na pimples kubwa za black... Tukashtuka... But tukaji console na kusema pengine alitembelewa na Nairobi fly.
Kufika ahero jamaa anasema kichwa kinachemka side moja. Kumwangalia kichwa ni black, imefura hadi macho imejifunga haoni na macho side ya left.
Tukaanza kuogopa... Vile bus ilipiga brake kwa stage tukamwingiza can mbio hadi AKUH.. Vile aliingia A&E nurses walikuwa wanaangalia kwa umbali nobody wanted to touch him.
After tests ilisemekana he reacted with something he had very recently eaten. Which he could only pinpoint as the steak ya croc...
And that's how I knew ukila nyama mamba there's a chance that you would start looking like a burukenge...
He got discharged after four days, but to date his face has two colors...
Click to expand...
Sad and funny
 
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