upepo
Elder Lister
Today I was talking to a lady friend of mine and she reminded me of an incident. There is a day this persons passed by my place for lunch. As I have said before, all my lady friends are people I wanted to climb but due to circumstances, we ended up as friends. Some zoned me, others were climbed by my friend Kafro before I could and others belong to the category of thick mamas. I avoid climbing thick persons because the whole affair ends in approx. 1.3 mins, since my kababa can’t handle too much warmth – it’s actually a medical condition that affects 0.01% of the population. There is one who told me nimemchafua bure and it’s very demotivating. Am still learning and undergoing therapy, but until then, I drive 14 seaters and below.
This particular persons had just zoned me for no reason, but I kept hopes. In Greek we say “mwihoko wa ngui kuria supper uthiraga riiko riahingwo” (As long as the kitchen is open, a dog’s hope for eating supper remains no matter how late it is). So after beating stories abit, I went to the kitchen to warm some lunch, and that’s when my afternoon changed. This persons got on phone with someone else, and though speaking in a very low tone, I heard her say “Aki we can’t meet today”…then in a lower tone almost a whisper…“Lemmi tell you girl, I just feel like getting some D**k today”...followed by a giggle and a laughter. I did not listen to the rest of the conversation, but instead said a thank you to the canaan gods like ‘I know I didn’t deserve this so, thank you.’ There there, my heart received instructions from my head to start directing oxygen flow downwards, and kababa acknowledged the allocation with a half salute. I went back with the food, making sure I got the bone with the bone-marrow…because when you hear a persons admit she wants D, you may end up pouring everything and end up lacking grease in the knees and other joints. We continued with stories, but the revenue allocation from the heart couldn’t keep me settled. At some point, I was even stammering and shaking my legs uncontrollably…dry spell is bad folks. I brought some fobe and we washed down the meal, and also to bring that ki-mood. There are only like 3 times I ever borrowed canaan while sober and got successful. The rest, fobe is always involved. So I remember there is a time she stood to go to the bathroom, and after looking at that sudus, I found myself literally nodding and rubbing my hands while licking my lips. That house was definitely going to Beirut that day.
At some point, she said ‘btw Ole nilikuwa nimekushow sikai saana’ And I knew the time had come. That is a line commonly used by persons to signal to you that you are not moving fast enough. I took one gulp of fobe and started talking in borrower language, saying how good she looked that day, and blaming her for never giving me a chance to appreciate her more and such nonsense. I got closer and held her hand, and mumbled a few things that were authored and directed via a nerve connection from my kababa direct to my mouth. She responded with a veery big and wicked laugh and said ‘igua giki?..kai wina ngoma ngui ino?’ (This is untranslatable, but it is simply a Kafete woman strongly recommending that you should consider going to mathare). She also threw my hands away and reached for a small make up kit and started wharevering her face. No one does that and proceeds to give you canaan. It always happens after! Did I hear her well in that call, or did saitan whisper to my ears or what? She also started saying things like ‘wewe Ole nilikwambia hii kitu iko na mwenyewe…kwanza ile namba nilikupea ulipigia huyo dame?’… Having accepted my fate, I bent my neck like a disappointed child and said in a low disappointed tone ‘ata wewe unanipea aje mtu ako na bass hivyo?’ ‘Wewe ni njaa huna…ebu nipush, naenda babyshower Langata.’ When I heard Langata, I knew it’s not saitan who had whispered to me. My ears had heard right, but what I didn’t know is that when she said D, she definitely didn’t mean mine. I really hate Langata btw.
Anyway, that persons was telling me today of how she got badly heartbroken 2 weeks ago, and I think this is another chance given to me by my ancestors to help her heal. I will still give it a try. We live by hope..mageria noh mo mahota andu aitu...
This particular persons had just zoned me for no reason, but I kept hopes. In Greek we say “mwihoko wa ngui kuria supper uthiraga riiko riahingwo” (As long as the kitchen is open, a dog’s hope for eating supper remains no matter how late it is). So after beating stories abit, I went to the kitchen to warm some lunch, and that’s when my afternoon changed. This persons got on phone with someone else, and though speaking in a very low tone, I heard her say “Aki we can’t meet today”…then in a lower tone almost a whisper…“Lemmi tell you girl, I just feel like getting some D**k today”...followed by a giggle and a laughter. I did not listen to the rest of the conversation, but instead said a thank you to the canaan gods like ‘I know I didn’t deserve this so, thank you.’ There there, my heart received instructions from my head to start directing oxygen flow downwards, and kababa acknowledged the allocation with a half salute. I went back with the food, making sure I got the bone with the bone-marrow…because when you hear a persons admit she wants D, you may end up pouring everything and end up lacking grease in the knees and other joints. We continued with stories, but the revenue allocation from the heart couldn’t keep me settled. At some point, I was even stammering and shaking my legs uncontrollably…dry spell is bad folks. I brought some fobe and we washed down the meal, and also to bring that ki-mood. There are only like 3 times I ever borrowed canaan while sober and got successful. The rest, fobe is always involved. So I remember there is a time she stood to go to the bathroom, and after looking at that sudus, I found myself literally nodding and rubbing my hands while licking my lips. That house was definitely going to Beirut that day.
At some point, she said ‘btw Ole nilikuwa nimekushow sikai saana’ And I knew the time had come. That is a line commonly used by persons to signal to you that you are not moving fast enough. I took one gulp of fobe and started talking in borrower language, saying how good she looked that day, and blaming her for never giving me a chance to appreciate her more and such nonsense. I got closer and held her hand, and mumbled a few things that were authored and directed via a nerve connection from my kababa direct to my mouth. She responded with a veery big and wicked laugh and said ‘igua giki?..kai wina ngoma ngui ino?’ (This is untranslatable, but it is simply a Kafete woman strongly recommending that you should consider going to mathare). She also threw my hands away and reached for a small make up kit and started wharevering her face. No one does that and proceeds to give you canaan. It always happens after! Did I hear her well in that call, or did saitan whisper to my ears or what? She also started saying things like ‘wewe Ole nilikwambia hii kitu iko na mwenyewe…kwanza ile namba nilikupea ulipigia huyo dame?’… Having accepted my fate, I bent my neck like a disappointed child and said in a low disappointed tone ‘ata wewe unanipea aje mtu ako na bass hivyo?’ ‘Wewe ni njaa huna…ebu nipush, naenda babyshower Langata.’ When I heard Langata, I knew it’s not saitan who had whispered to me. My ears had heard right, but what I didn’t know is that when she said D, she definitely didn’t mean mine. I really hate Langata btw.
Anyway, that persons was telling me today of how she got badly heartbroken 2 weeks ago, and I think this is another chance given to me by my ancestors to help her heal. I will still give it a try. We live by hope..mageria noh mo mahota andu aitu...
