LeoK
Elder Lister
Pale mkz daktari na hekaya.
For the upteenth time, Theuri has renounced Satan. He has also pledged, under oath, that he will never taste akoho (hard liquor, he later clarified) after what transpired between yesterday evening and today. He has also assured his PM that he will hence keep off our company.
It happened that his next door neibor was hosting a party to celebrate his son's graduating to "adulthood" yesterday evening.
In the party, there was endless supply of dogogio. 100% free. Not where you are asked to contribute money for dogogio.
At exactly 8PM, he called me and asked me if I want to drink and eat until I refused to know myself. I saided yes. He told me to come to his court, follow the sound of music, the smell of meat and the smell of dogogio and enter as if I was invited. I was also told to behave as it I was rich like many people there.
I found Theuri holding a mtungi of Muratina. He was the one serving. For those who know about Muratina, it can only be served by an elder who has removed all goats. Theuri happens to be a small elder. Besides him there was a bottle of JW black. He had refused to know himself small.
Long story short, when it reached midnight, Theuri forgot that he was just next door to his house. In ear, he told me "reke hurire mama ya gwakwa ndimire twi uthoni nawe nitugucereruo" (let me tell my PM we are at uthoni might be late small) that basically means borrowing visa. No coming back that night.
I wanted to warn him not to mention me because his PM vomits every time my name is mentioned.
He removed his phone and texted her and switched off his phone.
He then tellled me in ear "reke thie ngaikie njangiri ingi kanua nindiroka. Ndukaume hau na ndukanyote" (let me go and put another trapper in mouth. Don't remove there and don't be thirsty.)
I asked him "wathie kunogia njagi na wi mucie mani... Kai utangithii rucio (you are going to make a bean tired yet you are at home,. Si you better go tomorrow?"
He told me hungry is not be borrowed news.
Small, he beated his car fire and went to one of his many persons.
Today afternoon, he called me
"Munene, ti kwega" (leader, things are bad)
I asked him why.
He told me he can't recollect what happened but he has found himself at one of his ex's house around Kasarani.
His PM called and he said he was in Nyeri uthoni. PM crying loudly told him that he saw him at his neibor's at midnight he stop cheap lies.
He changed story and saided that infact he was arrested by akoblow when he went to drop me.
PM crying more loudly saided is a lie, she saw me leave and infact he should never mention me anywhere since she had warned him about me.
He changed and saided it's like he was putted rice and it's like he has gone mad. He requested PM to come with pastor to pray for him and remove Satan's in him, he was ready to get saved.
He changed and saided he has been hijacked and attacked by thugs and infact he has just recollected he was arrested a certain hospital he is yet to get the name. He cutted phone and called me and asked me if I can get someone to beat him small and injure him small then take him to hospital and summon his PM to come get him out. I asked him how much he was paying. He saided 10k.
There there I called Thorn stepper and agreed to do the job ourselves. we met him at Kasarani.
We beated him small and inflicted some injuries then took him to a certain hospital where his PM was called to come get him.
Before leaving, we asked for our pay. He first refused and saided he will actually take P3 where he will accuse us of beatung him like a dog.
We reminded him that we can tell his PM the truth. Small he paided us.
When PM showed up, she came as he had requested... with a pastor.
He has renounced Satan and vowed never to touch akoho and to also avoid bad company. Not sure if she has forgiven him, we are here drinking the 10k.
There are things a PM can make you do but this one of Theuri has refused laughter.
Lesson: When drinking at home, or next door, drink moderately. Excess can show you news
For the upteenth time, Theuri has renounced Satan. He has also pledged, under oath, that he will never taste akoho (hard liquor, he later clarified) after what transpired between yesterday evening and today. He has also assured his PM that he will hence keep off our company.
It happened that his next door neibor was hosting a party to celebrate his son's graduating to "adulthood" yesterday evening.
In the party, there was endless supply of dogogio. 100% free. Not where you are asked to contribute money for dogogio.
At exactly 8PM, he called me and asked me if I want to drink and eat until I refused to know myself. I saided yes. He told me to come to his court, follow the sound of music, the smell of meat and the smell of dogogio and enter as if I was invited. I was also told to behave as it I was rich like many people there.
I found Theuri holding a mtungi of Muratina. He was the one serving. For those who know about Muratina, it can only be served by an elder who has removed all goats. Theuri happens to be a small elder. Besides him there was a bottle of JW black. He had refused to know himself small.
Long story short, when it reached midnight, Theuri forgot that he was just next door to his house. In ear, he told me "reke hurire mama ya gwakwa ndimire twi uthoni nawe nitugucereruo" (let me tell my PM we are at uthoni might be late small) that basically means borrowing visa. No coming back that night.
I wanted to warn him not to mention me because his PM vomits every time my name is mentioned.
He removed his phone and texted her and switched off his phone.
He then tellled me in ear "reke thie ngaikie njangiri ingi kanua nindiroka. Ndukaume hau na ndukanyote" (let me go and put another trapper in mouth. Don't remove there and don't be thirsty.)
I asked him "wathie kunogia njagi na wi mucie mani... Kai utangithii rucio (you are going to make a bean tired yet you are at home,. Si you better go tomorrow?"
He told me hungry is not be borrowed news.
Small, he beated his car fire and went to one of his many persons.
Today afternoon, he called me
"Munene, ti kwega" (leader, things are bad)
I asked him why.
He told me he can't recollect what happened but he has found himself at one of his ex's house around Kasarani.
His PM called and he said he was in Nyeri uthoni. PM crying loudly told him that he saw him at his neibor's at midnight he stop cheap lies.
He changed story and saided that infact he was arrested by akoblow when he went to drop me.
PM crying more loudly saided is a lie, she saw me leave and infact he should never mention me anywhere since she had warned him about me.
He changed and saided it's like he was putted rice and it's like he has gone mad. He requested PM to come with pastor to pray for him and remove Satan's in him, he was ready to get saved.
He changed and saided he has been hijacked and attacked by thugs and infact he has just recollected he was arrested a certain hospital he is yet to get the name. He cutted phone and called me and asked me if I can get someone to beat him small and injure him small then take him to hospital and summon his PM to come get him out. I asked him how much he was paying. He saided 10k.
There there I called Thorn stepper and agreed to do the job ourselves. we met him at Kasarani.
We beated him small and inflicted some injuries then took him to a certain hospital where his PM was called to come get him.
Before leaving, we asked for our pay. He first refused and saided he will actually take P3 where he will accuse us of beatung him like a dog.
We reminded him that we can tell his PM the truth. Small he paided us.
When PM showed up, she came as he had requested... with a pastor.
He has renounced Satan and vowed never to touch akoho and to also avoid bad company. Not sure if she has forgiven him, we are here drinking the 10k.
There are things a PM can make you do but this one of Theuri has refused laughter.
Lesson: When drinking at home, or next door, drink moderately. Excess can show you news
