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  1. Field Marshal

    This is Guka - Masaibu ya Mafisi...

    You meet a girl. She's a waitress in a dingy bar at the shopping centre. About 19. A 6-ft Kale with the longest legs you've seen and no ounce of fat. A girl who can make a 78-year old PreCambrian proto-prganism very happy by papasaring his long extinct makagaresmo, even if the mucuthiski does...
  2. Field Marshal

    This is Guka - Niweke?

    Wooie pris...
  3. Field Marshal

    This is Guka - Ferk It...

    Are Israelis the real demons?
  4. Field Marshal

    Guka saitani

    Kama mlifikiria nimedie nyinyi ni nongwe tu....
  5. Field Marshal

    This is Guka - AoB06022023

    Kageezer ka kuchoma majani kameze wembe, hakuna kulala siku hizi.... ION, kale Ka-Mama postwall ka Randan kamezubaisha Pureblood kalikuwa 254 for the holidays. Kalikuwa kakitafuta busheriman mbaya mbovu lakini dude alikuwa deep undercover Embobut baada ya kupata leaks za nudes na picha zingine...
  6. Field Marshal

    This is Guka - AoB020220230

    Today let's promote the old shashamane geezer's new "wild thought of the day" column kabla kakuje hapa na stories za Baba Mtakatifu... The thought/ question goes to @Cortedivoire and other jaba-chewing afficienados (!): Sasa tuseme mko base na mresh mnachana mos mos halafu mamoods sishike...
  7. Field Marshal

    This is Guka - Aaaaaaaaai!

    Najaribu kutafuta a mature 25-32 year old lady without a kid nimuwekee biachara kidogo huku Kikuyu awe kama manager-cum-MWK wa Guka & Sons Enterprises chini ya maji. Tukielewana nimgonge tutoto tuwili nifunge chapter. Shock on me. Every bitch I am getting is coming with at least one or two...
  8. Field Marshal

    This is Guka - AoB.01022023

    Kale kageezer bado kameblack out juu ya kuchoma majani.
  9. Field Marshal

    This is Guka - A Hero Passes On...

    Dr Yusuf Dawood Kodwavwalla, who for 38 years wrote the Surgeon's Diary in the Sunday Nation, passed on on Sunday in the UK. He was 94. The good doctor probably inspired more than half of Kenya's current medics to pursue the profession with his witty and humorous pieces. Personally, he...
  10. Field Marshal

    This is Guka - Urgent. Saidieni Pris ..

    Niko mashinani na simu imepotea. Anybody with the direct contacts of Dr Githinji Gitahi saidia pris through inbox..
  11. Field Marshal

    This is Guka - Breaking; Iran Under Attack...

    The year just got a lot more interesting ..
  12. Field Marshal

    This is Guka - AoB29012023

    Kageezer nikama siku hizi ni kuchana na kuinhale majani choma kama Bedford mzee. ION, huyu si wetu. Eti siku hizi ametoa tint na kwenda gym kumaliza kitambi apate soft meat. Riswa!
  13. Field Marshal

    This is Guka - AoB28012023

    Kale kageezer ka maua na shashamane kameoversleep juu ya own supply. Anyway, yule jamaa wa Juja. The more I think about it, the more I am convinced kulikuwa na fowl play. Bibi wawili. MWK who was expected to become no 3. Strange burial, complete with three para eulogy that does not mention...
  14. Field Marshal

    This is Guka - AoB25012023

    Nimeamka 3.45am so that I could just upstage kale kamzee ka maua na shashamane by starting today's AoB thread. Sasa wacheni muone mchana mrefu na snide remarks za vile nyinyi ni mifugo.... 😂 😂 😂 😂
  15. Field Marshal

    This is Guka - Ni Ukweli Hivo Naskia Juu Ya Certain Former Bigwig?

    Cardiac arrest at Nairobi Hospital? I am offline official channels and can't seek classified info on open lines. Kazi kwenu...
  16. Field Marshal

    This is Guka -The Death of Japan. Nature is Truly Unforgiving...

    After they were defeated by the Americans, the Japanese lost the zest for life. They became a virtual colony of the gringos, adopting the latter's weird behaviours enmass. This included vices like homosexuality, gender fluidity, drag and extreme sexual liberalism. Today in Japan, you can even...
  17. Field Marshal

    This is Guka - Shit Does Happen to Good People....

    ....and lightning can strike twice. The universe can be bewildering... --------- The co-pilot of the ill-fated flight that crashed in Nepal on Sunday lost her husband in a similar plane crash 16 years earlier, it has emerged. Anju Khatiwada was co-piloting Yeti Airlines flight 691 when it...
  18. Field Marshal

    This is Guka - AOB17012023

    Should Mwalimu-G be banned for life for his unrelenting, tiresome, prejudiced, biased, half-baked criticisms of the Ruto Administration? The 'ayes' have it.
  19. Field Marshal

    This is Guka - Woooie!

    Nimejaribu kupata tatu kutoka kwa the pitch-black, pot-bellied, belching, Tusker-swigging homosexual to no avail. These dudes are pure psychos. Imagine mtu kukunyima pombe! Niweke pris?
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