I just realised that I'm too old to club hop. This particular Friday we had some fight with Mama Watoto and I decided to go back to memory lane and visit the CBD for some booze.
As always, wazee hukumbuka I started with the Great Karumaindo, Sabina Joy before being told that there are new clubs with young blood. And by the way, when did they renovate Sabina Joy?
So I went to Tom Mboya Street to this club Club LA or something Trust you me there was so much hype despite the loud music from hawa wakina vijana ya skuizi.pandana na hii ingine ya wakiritho.
So I sat on one of the strategic seats and throw my eyes trying to catch a kunguru staring at me. This really worked during the my hey days, you find a lady staring at you, you smile, she smiles and voilla, you won yourself a damsel for the night. But here, vitu kwa ground ni different. You catch a girl staring at you, you smile, she turns away very fast and make those funny faces girls of today make. Again you look at her thinking that you read the wrong signals, you now find a bunch of girls looking at you, you try smiling and that is how you earn yourself a weirdo tag.
So I change seats to somewhere more private, away from the where guys are dancing. I feel to pee and first I had to finish the bottle of GK i had in my hand. You never know when, who will spike your drink.
As I am coming from the loo, the seventh time I guess, after downing 6GKs I see this young, not-so-young lady. These girls that you don't notice their beauty until you look closely.
It was after she greeted me that I noticed her curves. She wore a green silly dress with these very light sweaters they sell along River Road for 200bob. Her hair had simple braids and I was about to dismiss her when I noticed her watch, a gold chain Micharl Kors piece of jewel.
Right there and then I was interested. This was a sophisticated lady, a lady with class. I had to be a gentleman and invited her for a drink. She obliged. After two or so Tusker Ciders, we were now laughing like long lost buddies.
It was now like 4am or something, I'm really drunk. Like really really drunk. So as all fisis I asked her for what Men usually ask from ladies. She agreed amid some laughs. So we head out. No particular place in mind. She mentioned that she lives in banana and I had to escort her towards globe roundabout. I asked for her number and instead she told me to hop in and go to her house. Thinking with your small head is actually hard. I joined her and off we went.
I made her laugh along the way and she really enjoyed it and actually paid the fare.I think I came back to my senses as we approached Village Market junction. Hapo kwa Rosslyn Riveria. I told her I won't reach her house coz for men there is a rule, a woman's house you not paying rent, never attempt to set your foot inside. So we agreed to take our sin to Ruaka.
We alighted at Ruaka and hapo nyuma ya choo za kanjo kuna tu-lodgings. She took me there and I paid 900bob. Ya lodge na CDs. Nikarudishiwa 20bob I was very angry at those guys, how can someone sell a pack of Trust Classic at 80bob?!!!
But because I wanted them to keep for me my stuff, I had to play cool.
I left my belt and wallet with the custodian and took the key 5A to be specific. Wah... to make matters short, we romped like horny teenagers. Niligonga hiyo kitu na hasira ya bibi hadi msichana akaitisha maji. So after shot ya pili, the first one took like 40mins, I had to change the CD for fear of bursting, it was time to leave. She asked for 2k, but I didn't listen to any of that. Told her I will give her 500bob. I guess she got angry.
The time was 6:30ish, I put on my trouser and shirt and headed to the toilet. My friend an evening of downing GK and sone random romping ile mkojo mtu hutoa! Wacha tu...
Kurudi kwa room sioni mtu, my blazer, phone, viatu, potea!!! Pombe iliisha kwa kichwa! Simu my wife would understand, but how was I to explain the blazer and shoes?!
I alighted the flight of stairs shaking my head and laughing at the same time. Went to the counter, still clad in those funny lodging slippers, took my wallet and belt and left. I had to pay 200bob for the damn slippers!!!
The road back home was long and full of insight. I banged my head at the gate and smeared some mud on my shirt to look like I was mugged. But my wife us a devil, she asked me which kind of robbers leave you with your wallet with cash inside, Yes, sikuwa na jibu. Bado nimenyamaziwa hadi leo.
Nimekuwa nikitumia kabambe hadi juzi nikanunua simu. Thats why I was silent
So guys ukienda lodging na mutu na unataka kwenda haja ndogo kindly lock her inside. Just to be safe!!
Happy Jamhuri Day
As always, wazee hukumbuka I started with the Great Karumaindo, Sabina Joy before being told that there are new clubs with young blood. And by the way, when did they renovate Sabina Joy?
So I went to Tom Mboya Street to this club Club LA or something Trust you me there was so much hype despite the loud music from hawa wakina vijana ya skuizi.pandana na hii ingine ya wakiritho.
So I sat on one of the strategic seats and throw my eyes trying to catch a kunguru staring at me. This really worked during the my hey days, you find a lady staring at you, you smile, she smiles and voilla, you won yourself a damsel for the night. But here, vitu kwa ground ni different. You catch a girl staring at you, you smile, she turns away very fast and make those funny faces girls of today make. Again you look at her thinking that you read the wrong signals, you now find a bunch of girls looking at you, you try smiling and that is how you earn yourself a weirdo tag.
So I change seats to somewhere more private, away from the where guys are dancing. I feel to pee and first I had to finish the bottle of GK i had in my hand. You never know when, who will spike your drink.
As I am coming from the loo, the seventh time I guess, after downing 6GKs I see this young, not-so-young lady. These girls that you don't notice their beauty until you look closely.
It was after she greeted me that I noticed her curves. She wore a green silly dress with these very light sweaters they sell along River Road for 200bob. Her hair had simple braids and I was about to dismiss her when I noticed her watch, a gold chain Micharl Kors piece of jewel.
Right there and then I was interested. This was a sophisticated lady, a lady with class. I had to be a gentleman and invited her for a drink. She obliged. After two or so Tusker Ciders, we were now laughing like long lost buddies.
It was now like 4am or something, I'm really drunk. Like really really drunk. So as all fisis I asked her for what Men usually ask from ladies. She agreed amid some laughs. So we head out. No particular place in mind. She mentioned that she lives in banana and I had to escort her towards globe roundabout. I asked for her number and instead she told me to hop in and go to her house. Thinking with your small head is actually hard. I joined her and off we went.
I made her laugh along the way and she really enjoyed it and actually paid the fare.I think I came back to my senses as we approached Village Market junction. Hapo kwa Rosslyn Riveria. I told her I won't reach her house coz for men there is a rule, a woman's house you not paying rent, never attempt to set your foot inside. So we agreed to take our sin to Ruaka.
We alighted at Ruaka and hapo nyuma ya choo za kanjo kuna tu-lodgings. She took me there and I paid 900bob. Ya lodge na CDs. Nikarudishiwa 20bob I was very angry at those guys, how can someone sell a pack of Trust Classic at 80bob?!!!
But because I wanted them to keep for me my stuff, I had to play cool.
I left my belt and wallet with the custodian and took the key 5A to be specific. Wah... to make matters short, we romped like horny teenagers. Niligonga hiyo kitu na hasira ya bibi hadi msichana akaitisha maji. So after shot ya pili, the first one took like 40mins, I had to change the CD for fear of bursting, it was time to leave. She asked for 2k, but I didn't listen to any of that. Told her I will give her 500bob. I guess she got angry.
The time was 6:30ish, I put on my trouser and shirt and headed to the toilet. My friend an evening of downing GK and sone random romping ile mkojo mtu hutoa! Wacha tu...
Kurudi kwa room sioni mtu, my blazer, phone, viatu, potea!!! Pombe iliisha kwa kichwa! Simu my wife would understand, but how was I to explain the blazer and shoes?!
I alighted the flight of stairs shaking my head and laughing at the same time. Went to the counter, still clad in those funny lodging slippers, took my wallet and belt and left. I had to pay 200bob for the damn slippers!!!
The road back home was long and full of insight. I banged my head at the gate and smeared some mud on my shirt to look like I was mugged. But my wife us a devil, she asked me which kind of robbers leave you with your wallet with cash inside, Yes, sikuwa na jibu. Bado nimenyamaziwa hadi leo.
Nimekuwa nikitumia kabambe hadi juzi nikanunua simu. Thats why I was silent
So guys ukienda lodging na mutu na unataka kwenda haja ndogo kindly lock her inside. Just to be safe!!
Happy Jamhuri Day
Wacha story mingi, sema alikua anakaa zinja
